The Evil Petting Zoo

So, seeing as we're having my aunt and uncle over for Christmas dinner at noon today (don't ask), the Cognito Clan decided as a whole that it would be best to open presents on Christmas Eve. I can just hear the children of the world seething with jealousy.

Among the presents opened was a scenario I had come to fear. You see, when I first compiled my Christmas list, I asked for, among other things, The Invisibles: Apocalipstick. It took me about three weeks to realize that, hey, maybe asking the relatives to whom I am not out yet for a book featuring a transvestite Aztec sorceress was not the wisest of plans, by which time Mother Cognito had already sent out the gift lists to all the relatives. So, I ended up receiving Apocalipstick as one book of three- from my grandparents. Yeah. I just shriveled up and died right there.

Among the other gifts received were: a Timberland wallet (well-needed, as my current wallet looks like faux-zebra print plastic); a new leather jacket; a tan denim jacket from American Eagle; Hellblazer: Dangerous Habits; Transmetropolitan: Gouge Away; Astro City: Life in the Big City; Fluke, by Christopher Moore; America: The Book; a collection of all the permutations of Half-Life (I was expecting Half-Life 2, but I can always trade it in); $55 in Barnes and Noble gift cards; a sheep to a family in South America as part of Heifer International; and a $50 donation to the Ali Forney Center in my name.

So, merry Christmas! Enjoy your gifts today, because I enjoyed mine yesterday.

Oh, and when you're done reveling in your new swag, go check out Pete's new Christmas story, about the life and times of King Moonracer, that winged lion from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It rocks, y'all.