Wednesday, August 31, 2005

 

Yes, Let's All Get Down Our Knees and Exalt a Mass Murderer

Last I saw Michael Marcavage and his Repent America flunkies, they were getting arrested for disrupting Philly OutFest. Now, Marcavage is back, and telling us how Katrina is the gays' fault:

"Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city." Marcavage said. "From ‘Girls Gone Wild’ to ‘Southern Decadence’, New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. May it never be the same."

"Let us pray for those ravaged by this disaster. However, we must not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long," Marcavage said.

"May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God," Marcavage concluded.


Yeah, "trembling." Well, I guess constantly living one's life in fear of being struck down by a homicidal deity could be considered "trembling."

I'm sick of these bastards who think of God as some terrorist who strikes down innocent people because of the perceived sins of others. Right now is the time to try and band together and help those in New Orleans, and not point fingers about supposed theological causes. Cram it, Marcavage.

 

So What Do Latinos Do? "Take"?

It's like a really bad "white people/ black people" joke: White people "find", black people "loot." And it's not as if they're different contexts either; it's not as if the black guy went into a Best Buy while the white people went into an emergency relief shelter. Both parties went into a grocery store; however, since we all know that them blackies are taking what doesn't belong to them, the black guy has to be "looting".

The media sucks.

 

Laissez Les Mal Temps Roulez

New Orleans is flooding. Looting is rampant, and it's gotten so bad that even cops and firefighters are getting in on it. And nowhere is safe, either; the looters are actually trying to break into the children's hospital. I'm beginning to think that New Orleans really is doomed.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

 

And If You Squint, Krakatoa Kind Of Looked Like a Breast

The Wingnut Celebration of Watery Death continues, this time with a Rorschach test. Personally, if I were God, I'd make the instrument of my wrath appear as an angel the height of the Empire State Building, weilding a flaming sword lit up like the Vegas strip and reciting Samuel L. Jackson's monologue from Pulp Fiction. But that's just me.

Why do people want God to hate us?

 

...Very Much in the Same Way That the Religious Right is Like Herpes

Not very concerned about America, are you, girls?

I can think of so many ways that John Bolton could be compared to Hurricane Katrina (full of hot air? an unmitigated disaster? dangerous to all those who cross its path?), but let's look at it this way: we are currently reeling from what is being called the worst natural disaster to ever hit the US. Hundreds are dead, and a city lays in ruins. And at this moment, the Concerned Women for America website is comparing this tragedy positively to John Bolton, in a whimsical, "Well, gee, will you look at that?" manner.

Then again, we all know New Orleans is full of gays, voodoo-practitioners and vampire wannabes. So maybe it's not so far-fetched that CWFA is looking upon this warmly.

 

Baked Goods Make Any Natural Disaster Better

It's one thing to actually say, "Let them eat cake." But to couple it with the presentation of an actual cake? Marie Antoinette must be spinning like a top in her grave.

While I'm glad to see Bush is actually getting off his ass this time and heading back to the White House, there's no reason why he should have spent the day after most of the Gulf got bulldozed laughing it up at a country club. Hurricanes don't just affect the plebians, George.

 

Because There's Nothing Gay About Those Pretty Flowing Robes

Well, looks like Pope Benedict's going ahead with it. So, why are priests being thrown out? Just ask this scientician:

'It will be written in a very pastoral mode,' Haldane said. 'It will not be an attack on the gay lifestyle. It will not say "homosexuality is immoral". But it will suggest that admitting gay men into the priesthood places a burden both on those who are homosexual and those they are working alongside who are not.'

Yes, because we're all aware of the glut of stories of hot man-on-man loving that take place in seminaries*. Everyone knows us gays can't cohabitate with other men without thinking about boning them all. I don't know where Joey Rats (tm Jon Stewart) gets his ideas, but the world does not operate according to the laws of gay porn.

*Remind me not to check the referral logs for the next few weeks.

Monday, August 29, 2005

 

Is That a Game of Pitfall in Your Pocket, Or...

My, that's not excessively phallic at all.

We all knew this video game nostalgia kick had to end at some point. I think we've found that point.

 

Mardi Gras Lives On

Well, Katrina dropped down to a Category 4 and hit just slightly to the left of New Orleans, thank God.

Still. New Orleans is a city living on borrowed time. Unless there's a massive geographic overhaul, it's just a matter of time until the city becomes swampland again.

Wow. When did I turn into one of those panicky scientists from a disaster movie?

 

The Countdown Begins

So. One week from now, I'll be moving into the Little Building at Emerson.

Everything's ready. Well, almost everything; I still need to pack some books, my TV, and my PS2. But I've contacted all my roommates, I've got most of my luggage put away, and I'm all set to begin college life.

Here's hoping I don't horribly fuck it all up.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

 

My Proudest Moment Was Putting an Endorsement of Psychic Surgery in The New England Journal of Medicine

Just great. I start thinking good things about Andrew Sullivan again, and then he goes and fucks it all up.

I know The Bell Curve has its apologists. I know there are people who claim that "the non-controversial parts", such as the ones about how we are currently living in an IQ-based meritocracy, still hold up (and if you really believe that one, I have a presidency to sell you). And yes, I know that the APA itself has argued that there are some differences between blacks and whites when it comes to IQ. But in the end, we have a book that, at its core, softly speaks out in favor of eugenics and closing our borders.

Yes, there's vague evidence that could be loosely construed to prove Murray's point. But there's also vague evidence of hundreds of things wrong with gay people like myself, and that doesn't make them true. And how would Andrew Sullivan feel if someone put a piece by Paul Cameron in The New Republic?

 

And In a Single Day and Night...

Sheee-it. I mean, we all knew this was inevitable; New Orleans is the geographical equivalent of a spit valve, and being situated right on the Gulf is like giving Mother Nature a bullseye. But I still can't believe that New Orleans is probably going to become the American Atlantis.

Friday, August 26, 2005

 

Has the Whole World Gone Insane?

A few months back, when Jerry Falwell went on a respirator, I said that I didn't think he was as bad of a guy as Pat Robertson or Jesse Helms. Instead of a man who tried to manipulate people through twisting Christ's words, I saw a man who had honestly had the shit scared out of him growing up, one who was traumatized by the idea that if he took one step out of line, God would strike him down on the spot. I saw a man with the potential to do good.

It looks like he's actually reaching that potential. Falwell has officially come forward and announced support for some protections for gays and lesbians. Sure, it's not like he's waving the gay pride flag over his head, but seriously, Pat Robertson would probably lick Satan's nutsack before doing something like that.

Of course, there's always the possibility that this is political jockeying, so I'm going to wait and see if this actually sticks. Still, it's a sign of something, to say the least.

 

Sliders

Goddamnit, are there any politicians that will just stick with their opinions and not try to pander to the lowest common denominator? Not that all of these changes in opinion are motivated by politics; I fully believe that Joe Lieberman was crazy enough to support creationism from the start, and I do believe that Bill Frist finally realized just how anti-science the Bush administration was before he switched over to supporting stem cell research. But certain moves, such as Hillary Clinton's desperate cock-blocking of video games, just reek of politics.

Now, John McCain has decided that hey, no one else has any integrity, so why should he? One of our greatest Republican allies against the FMA, one of the man who has continually denounced wingnut attacks against gays, has officially thrown us over for a few dirty votes.

It's not that I'm being treated like a whore that bugs me. It's just that I wish these people wouldn't wipe their dick off on me when they're done.

 

Imaginary Stories

Last summer, Women's Wall Street writer Annie Jacobsen wrote an article about her absolutely terrifying encounter with fourteen Syrian musicians with leaky bladders on a plane. For some strange reason, even though Jacobsen got through the flight and found that, hey, these aren't terrorists, they're just regular joes trying to make a living, she called for racial profiling. Because the government caters to the whims of quivering middle-aged women who are afraid of the brown people, and will instantly implement an outdated, ineffective, and potentially racist form of security screening just because one woman says so.

Well, someone actually gave Jacobsen a book deal. Mind you, this isn't suprrising, seeing as we live in a culture where the woman who held off Brian Nichols by reading him The Purpose-Driven Life can get a TV movie deal. But to write a book about an incident where nothing happened... I mean, wow. And here's how they're advertising it:

Read the whole story, including Annie's theory about what was really happening on that flight.

Yes. Yes, because being moderately successful when it comes to finances automatically makes one an expert in terrorism. For fuck's sake. The plane didn't explode. What, were these men carrying out a terrorist plot to jam up the plumbing by flushing paper towles down the toilet?

At best, Annie Jacobsen should've gotten a pat on the back and a nice cup of tea to soothe her nerves after a harrowing experience with actual Muslims working for a living. But she got a book deal, because a point must be made, no matter how much actual evidence there is for that point.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

 

If It Bleeds, It Leads, So Who Cares If We Get Some On Us?

I remember a clip from The Daily Show a few weeks back of FOX News correspondents talking about terrorist training videos. These videos contained instructions on how to make bombs. Of course, mere words was not enough, as the broadcasters decided to include actual clips from the videos, complete with depictions of ingredients, on the air. This led to the anchors rhetorically asking, "Should we be showing this?", when they already knew the answer: Who gives a fuck? We don't.

Well, FOX is at it again. On August 7th, former AUSA John Loftus was brought on, and he gave away the home address of Iyad K. Hilal, the leader of a terrorist group with ties to the London bombings... which came as quite a surprise to the family who actually lived in the house, which Hilal had abandoned for greener pastures three years ago. Now, they've had curses hurled at them, and, in one incident, had the word "Terrist" [for the love of all that's holy, sic] spraypainted on their driveway.

Of course, Loftus is trying to weasel his way out of this one:

"I thought it might help police in that area now that we have positively identified a terrorist living in [Orange County]," he said.

Yes. Yes, that explains why, instead of politing calling the chief of police for Orange County and politely and, more importantly, discreetly telling him that there might be a terrorist in his backyard, Loftus went on television and told all of America where Hilal lived, opening up the possibility that, gee, I dunno, Hilal might learn that there's someone on his ass who knows where he lives.

Loftus is plenty to blame here. But FOX News is also at fault. They, out of an unmatched sensationalist hunger, had a man basically invite anyone with access to a beer bottle full of gasoline, a lighter, and MapQuest to lynch a suspected terrorist. Like with the bomb footage, they didn't think ahead of time that maybe their actions might lead to innocent people getting hurt. Remember when the news was all about keeping us informed about potential threats, instead of creating them?

 

It Costs a Dollar and Five Cents

Remember, America's soldiers have fought and died for your freedoms... except for the freedom to oppose war, according to the American Legion. They also pledge to use "whatever means necessary" to stop people from talking about how war, y'know, sucks.

Remember, kids, it's not fascism when it's for the good of our leaders. Then it's freedom.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

 

St. Peter is Not a Bouncer

According to a national survey of more than 1000 people over the age of 18, 79% of Americans- and 68% of evangelicals- think that God isn't a tyrant when it comes to who gets into Heaven. Of course, for the religious right, who would not only pull an Abraham and sacrifice their son to God if he asked them to, but go the extra step and fillet him and serve him to the Lord with a nice full-bodied wine, this is a very bad thing. Because if we don't accept God, then we can't accept his sycophants- I mean, "shepherds," and deserve to be toasted.

 

Fred Phelps: Bringing Nations Together

Dear King of Sweden:

Just ignore him. It's for the best.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

 

Yeah, 'Cause When Was the Last Time New York Saw an Act of Terror?

I have an experiment that I'd like to try:

1. Stick Ann Coulter on a street corner in Brooklyn.
2. Have her repeat what she said about New Yorkers being spineless cowards.
3. See if she lasts thirty seconds.

Christ. The fact that people like Coulter constantly try to pimp out the 9/11 attacks as a reason for invading Iraq if they'd, y'know, actually respected New York City.

Monday, August 22, 2005

 

Christ's Love and a .38

Yeah, let's just assassinate Hugo Chavez, Pat. After all, Jesus himself brought about change by killing any motherfucker who got in his way.

What? You mean he favored peaceful protest and forgiveness of his enemies?

Pussy.

 

Hey, Look Over There! The Enemy!

Now, someone accusing Cindy Sheehan and her cohorts of offering aid to the enemy is baseless, but your standard talking point. Anyone with enough moral credibility could offer it up, even if it's not necessarily true. But for the man who outed a fucking undercover CIA agent to accuse Cindy Sheehan and other peace protesters of treason... is just what I'd expect from Novak.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

 

Of Weak Constitution

Just great, guys. Yeah, let's spend billions of dollars and sacrifice hundreds of lives to bring freedom to Iraq, and then just bend over when a bunch of clerics want to put up sharia.

Why do we hate their freedoms?

Saturday, August 20, 2005

 

The Gallery of Regrettable Opinions

I know approximately shit about James Lileks. Sure, I laugh at the Gallery of Regrettable Food, and I'm vaguely aware that he lost his mind after 9/11. Now, however, I have come to realize what Ludickid has told me often: James Lileks is full of shit.

What about that abortion bomber guy, Eric Rudolph? Sorry; he calls himself a disciple of Nietzsche.

Right, and I'm assuming the fact that he was a member of Christian Identity for years and years negates the fact that he believed in the superman. Eh, I'm sure the whole "Christian" thing is just there for show.

Well, what about the Crusades? And Dresden? Fine. Drop us a line when someone drives a 737 into the Sears Tower on behalf of a bygone pope and Gen. Eisenhower.

What may be one of the main reasons why "they" hate us? Forget it!

But they're not anti-Semites. Heavens, nay. Don't you dare question their philosemitism! No, they looked at the entire world, including countries that lop off your skull if you convert to Presbyterianism, and what did they choose as the object of their ire? A country the size of a potato chip hanging on the edge of a region noted for despotism and barbarity. By some peculiar coincidence, it happens to be full of Jews.

Okay, here's the thing: I don't like asparagus. I don't like how it tastes. I do not buy it. But I do not wish to defoliate every asparagus crop in North America and salt the earth so that nothing can ever grow in it again. What Lileks-- and many others, for that matter-- do not get is not liking something does not equal hating it.

These adolescent spirits love nothing more than a revolution, a story of a scrappy underdog rising up against a colonizing power, and the Palestinians, with their romantically masked fighters and thrilling weapon-brandishing, fit the bill. Plus, there's something so deliciously naughty and transgressive about calling Jews the new Nazis.

Or, it could be the fact that the UN took a machete to the Middle East, chopping up countries with no respect for ethnic and tribal boundaries. Then again, I'm sure James thinks that the reason why the Iraqi constitution is being held up is because those brown people can't put together an accurate government, and not because of strife between Sunnis and Shi'ites.

It doesn't matter that one side is a liberal democracy that grants rights to women and non-Jews while the other has thugs and assassins for rulers and sends its kids to summer camps where they learn the joys of good ol' fashioned Jew-killing.

Or camps where they learn that Jews are their friends. Just saying.

The companies the church wishes to pressure include Caterpillar, which makes bulldozers purchased by the Israelis for the sole purpose of knocking down innocent homes of gentle lamb herders

I bet James has a few of those hilarious Rachel Corrie T-shirts.

Seriously, go back to the cakes shaped like houses, James. You at least made sense there.

Friday, August 19, 2005

 

Leashes! I'll Use Leashes On My Progeny!

This man is, to put it briefly, fucked up. To draw it out: the man thinks that if he gives his kids one inch of space, they might become homosexual Satanist feminists. Oh, and he should drive all his kids to become baby-making machines, because in four generations, he might have enough offspring to take over a small African nation and rename it "Canaan."

Remember, kids; God wants nothing more than for us to all close our eyes and think of England.

 

Whoring: It's Not Just About Sex Anymore

Okay, just what sort of employee discount is Jeff Gannon offering to the Washington Blade?

Let me bring this up again: before Jeff Gannon was revealed to have been an actual prostitute, he was a moral prostitute. When he was at Talon News, his articles consisted of a defense of Rick Santorum's "man-on-dog" tirade, a defense of the FMA, and a description of Kerry as "America's first gay President." Does that sound like a man you want writing op-eds for one of the nation's biggest gay newspapers?

Well, we already know he charged $200 for a night and $1200 for a weekend. I wonder how much he charges for a weekly gig.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

 

What is the Fatrix?

"What is reality, Neo? Is it what you can see, what you can touch? Is it losing a son in Iraq?"

That's right, folks: one of the biggest supporters of the war in Iraq just told a grieving mother that the death of her soldier son is "not real." Hey, pill gobbler; get out of your fucking studio and talk to some parents who lost their sons and daughters, then plop your ass in Iraq. Then you'll see how "not real" it is.

 

As Long as Sharon Stone Doesn't Get on a Plane, We're Safe

Y'know... if I were the head of the Transporation Security Administration four years after a terrorist attack that claimed thousands of lives-- a terrorist attack that took place because people hijacked planes with box cutters, for fuck's sake-- I'd probably keep it so that anything that could possibly be used as a sharp weapon would be barred from carry-on, especially knives and ice picks*. Then again, that's just me.

This is a good idea why?

*And seriously, after Basic Instinct, has anyone, anyone at all, entertained the idea of using an icepick for something other than ventilating their fellow man?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

 

Putting the "Dolt" Back in "A-Dolt Education"

Or, suffer the little children (and adolescents).

I signed up back in June for a course offered by the Wellesley recreation department on how to improve your conversational skills. I thought it would be nifty, because I'm going to be sharing by dorm at Emerson with five other guys and... well, Asperger's. Anyway, last Wednesday, I show up for the first class at 7:00 PM. The instructor, on the other hand? Doesn't. I wait... and wait... and wait. Eventually, a classmate (Karen, a software engineer) shows up. We talk about lives, college, etc., until 7:35 rolls around and we say, "Screw it," and go home. The next day, I get a call from the teacher, who says that he thought the class was on Thursday.

Think about that: a man plots out a course, an action which must take months to complete. He puts the course in the adult ed program, where it sits for at least two months. And only on the day before his class starts does he think to check twice?

Still, I was forgiving, as he offered to reschedule the class. So, Monday, I show up. There are a few neat tricks that'll probably help me, should I be able to recall them at the right time. So, tonight, I show up for my second class, hoping I'll be able to embody my techniques successfully.

Only problem is, everything's locked up. I can't get in the building, be it through front door, side door, or back door. After five minutes of struggling, I give up and walk home.

So. Here's what my town, which supposedly has one of the best public education programs in the country, which draws sprog-hopeful adults to it like supermodels to cocaine, has to offer for children:

-No movie theatres.
-No arcades.
-No comic book shops.
-No real shopping centres.
-A skate park that will likely never materialize.
-A $2 million rec program that can't find its own ass with two hands and a lighthouse.

See? When it comes to kids, my town is stagnating. Hell, this is a town that, one hundred years ago, had its own amusement park. Now? Not even a candy store. I mean, the kids in Derry had a more idyllic small town experience, and they had to fend off an evil clown.

It's not that I hate my town. I mean, it's a nice enough place, but I think it would be nice to raise a kid somewhere where he can do stuff on his own.

 

But, Mooooom!

I don't know what's sweeter: the fact that a kid and his mom have both managed to get into World of Warcraft, or that she publicly smacked him down for posting far past his bedtime. This is the kind of thing that, were I missing a few IQ points, I would refer to as "pwnage".

 

Point, Counterpoint

Some "concerned" e-mailers make sweeping generalizations about a gay blogger's sex life... which the blogger subtly yet effectively tears apart (ganked from Pandagon).

It's amazing the number of people who think gay sex is all about using another person as a walking talking sex toy. Which would explain why I've taken an interest in trying to save myself for my husband (tragic misfire notwithstanding). Note to fundamentalists and "ex"-gays: we are not all sex-crazed sociopaths, just as all heterosexuals are not pious, devoted lovers who will gladly wait until marriage. Live it, learn it, love it.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

 

Desecrating a Memorial to Soldiers = True American

While Sheehan has gotten a lot of support in her vigil, and has been joined by dozens of sympathizers, she's also sparked some opposition.

Monday night, a pickup truck tore through the rows of white crosses.


Who are you? Really, do you think that you're so strong and patriotic? Do you really think the best way to show you love your homeland is to do damage to a memorial to the people who are supposedly dying for it?

Next time you want to be a patriot, think before you vandalize.

 

Video Killed Absolutely No One

This should be stapled to Jack Thompson's forehead as soon as possible. Then again, the man's probably so divorced from reality that he'll think the "death merchants" paid for it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to kill some hookers with absolutely no ill effects.

 

The Abyss Gazes Back, You Know

So, you're looking at a man whose hatred towards gay people could be considered the apotheosis of your own feelings. Sure, he believes they're damned from birth, and so is almost everyone else in America, but when you look at some of the specific things he says about gays... they sound a bit like your own. So, do you come to a revelation about your own prejudiced feelings, and strive to eliminate your own bias?

Well, you could. Or you could just believe that the other guy is a gay plant. And the great circle of crap continues.

Monday, August 15, 2005

 

If I Close My Eyes, She'll Go Away

"Yeah, I know that the woman whose son died in Iraq is right at the end of the driveway. And yeah, I know that she probably won't budge until I offer her an explanation about why her son died. And yeah, I know that I have consistently offered up varying goals for the war and explanations why we're there, so much so that I probably can't keep 'em all straight. But, y'know, I think it's important for me to go on with my life. I mean, screw everyone else!"

 

The Anniversary Party

I'm back. Well, I've been back for about nine hours, but I got up at 5 AM to get here, so I had to get some well-deserved rest.

The party went well, even if I was overdressed. We all went dressed "business casual", as the invitation said: chinos, polo shirt, loafers, formal belt. Then other guests started showing up in cut-offs. Go figure.

I ended up tending bar. I managed to efficiently pour wine, root beer, and water, as well as mix up some gin and tonics (none of which killed a cow at a hundred paces, fortunately). The food was good, and I held my own in conversation with the adults (including convincing my poor cable-deprived aunt of the glory of Jon Stewart).

The next day, Brother Cognito took off to visit a friend at a nearby summer camp, while I returned with my parents to hang with the other relatives some more. At one point, one of my cousins, obviously lacking in lessons about good touches and bad touches, tried to climb on my head, despite the fact that I kept saying no. I think I'll be asking for a vasectomy for my birthday (not that it matters, of course).

So, it was a good little break. And now, back to normal. Or at least what passes for normal.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

 

See, Now This Is What We Call Irony

Let's see: a man who has claimed that gays are, and I quote, "the enemy of Christian marriage and Christian falling in love and all the tenderness that goes along with that" (yes, because for us gays, love is all rutting, all the time) has been named as "the other man" in a divorce suit.

Well, he blamed the Catholic Church sex scandal on gays. I'm sure he'll find another way to blame us for this.

By the way, I won't be posting after 9 AM today. I'm heading up to Maine for my aunt and uncle's anniversary, and Internet access is not in the cards. I'll be posting against Monday morning.

Friday, August 12, 2005

 

Nothing Can Defeat the Penis!

Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.

That is, apparently, James Dobson's straightforward cure for teh gay: lots of wrasslin' (which can't be constituted as foreplay, and which doesn't have an entire subclass of gay porn devoted to it, oh, no), and lots and lots of big penises. Yes, technically, they're someone else's words, but Dobson's putting them forward like the gospel truth.

You know, if this man didn't constantly make references to how gay people are going to destroy the world, I'd laugh at him. Oh, Hell, I'll just laugh at him anyway. Ha-ha!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

 

It's Like a Far-Right Pundit's Dream Cage Match!

Tucker Carlson breaks with the party line and announces he hearts the French... but mainly because they blew up Greenpeace. And then he goes on to call the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior, which claimed the life of a photographer who was unable to escape, "vandalism." Let's see: grafitti... intentionally bombing a ship whose sole purpose is peaceful protest and unintentionally killing a guy in the process. Yep, they're pretty equal.

Remember, we must stand strong against terror... unless it's against people we don't like.

 

And Let's Have Our Next Patriotic Holiday on Dec. 7th!

"Hey, everyone! Let's celebrate the freedoms that our ancestors fought for, and our military is fighting for today! And it's a total coincidence that this celebration is gonna happen on 9/11!"

Take your time, guys. I just think we'd like that corpse back once you're done raping it.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

 

Wonderful Spam, Glorious Spam...

I just got my first Spam comment.

I don't know whether to feel flattered or homicidal.

 

There's the Sixth Sense, and Then There's the Lack of Sense

Michelle Malkin sees dead people.

I can’t imagine that Casey Sheehan would approve of such behavior.

That would be the son of Cindy Sheehan, who is protesting his death in Iraq by reminding Bush of why he shouldn't be on vacation. Now, who am I going to trust when it comes to the unexpressed opinions of a dead Marine: a conservative pundit who likely never knew Casey Sheehan existed until this past week, or his own mother?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

 

If Only Wishing Made It So...

So, let me get this straight: according to James Dobson, if I'm called a "fag" or a "queer", then it's a sign that I may become a homosexual. Given the regularity with which these words are being hurled about in our schools, we're going to be extinct within a generation.

Oh, and apparently, if you're different from others, you run a great risk of being gay. So conform, damnit, conform!

 

Child Murders Are Super Kawai!

(Ganked from Rossi.)

I know that, in the past few months, I have become more of a geek than I have ever been before. And I like it. I have started playing D&D, and shown an interest in other roleplaying games. Hell, I'm even looking forward to attending VeriCon when it comes around, and other cons in the greater New England area.

However. If I show up at one of these cons only to find someone cosplaying as a child murderer, I will turn and leave... after I've reduced them to a unidentifiable pile of blood, bones, and meat, that is.

I knew there was a reason I hated cosplay.

 

Buzzkill for Bonzo

Everyone on the liberal blogosphere knows about Cindy Sheehan by now, the mother of a slain Iraqi soldier who's protesting outside Bush's Crawford ranch while he carefully ignores the outside world-- again. Now, Cindy Sheehan herself is saying she's been told that, if she does not move by Thursday, she'll be arrested as "a threat to national security."

I'm going to wait until Thursday before I start the rantfest, just to see if this actually goes down. But if it does, then we've got a tyrant in the White House.

Monday, August 08, 2005

 

FCC: Furthering Conservative Christianity

I'm certain there's a perfectly good reason why the new head of the FCC, who believes that satellite radio and cable should be subjected to the same standards as basic television, has hired a woman who believes that the nation should be "returned" to the Biblical priniciples it was "founded on" to "aid" him.

Enjoy mind-expanding entertainment while it lasts.

 

The Big Newsroom in the Sky

Godspeed, Peter Jennings. You'll be missed.

 

People Games Play

On this blog, I've detailed how Jack "Video Games Are Eeeevil" Thompson may well be a few bananas short of the bunch.

Well, a flame war with Scott, creator of VGCats, proves the psychosis goes much deeper: he's a fucking banana tree short of a bunch.

Thompson emails Scott about "Hot Coffee"... which is, in actuality, a recirculation of an email he sent to Patricia Vance, head of the ESRB. Scott acquaints Mr. Thompson with the results of Falwell v. Flynt, and informs him otherwise. Thompson then starts sending e-mails consisting entirely of insults, and, halfway through the volley of e-mails, tells Scott that he (meaning, Scott) was the one who initiated the conversation, not Thompson, and should thus shut up.

If this man were really about protecting people from the horrors of games, he'd be treating gamers with some sort of respect; after all, they've been "wounded." But, no. He's just a crazy old man who, if games didn't exist, would probably be ramping up the bonfire for the book burning.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

 

Slip and Slide

As in, "he slipped away, and we let the other guy slide".

AMERICABlog's got the scoop on two massive security failures by our government. One was a terrorist who British authorities believe aided in the London bombing... and who Ashcroft let walk three years ago, when he was arrested on suspicion of running a terrorist training camp in Oregon. The second-- which goes beyond "slip-up" and well into "fuckup of massive proportions"-- comes from a CIA commander who was at Tora Bora, and who says that a lack of support by the Pentagon led to Bin Laden's flight.

Being "tough on terror" means more than condoning torture, you twats.

 

It's Not That Tiny, I Swear!

In another study that proves the obvious, men who feel insufficiently masculine are more likely to hate gays. Oh, and buy Hummers.

Wait for the stunning research which reveals that big breasts attract more men.

 

"Good" Catholics and "Bad" Catholics

God, it's as if the Catholic Church is trying to convince me it was a good idea to leave. The Phoenix Diocese has banned all politicians with pro-gay or pro-choice views from speaking, as putting them up "would suggest support for their actions."

It's a shame a lot of US Catholics think the same way, too. Maybe they should have mandatory interrogations before giving Communion.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

 

How Can I Miss Him If He Won't Go Away?

"Jenna Jameson, I'm coming for you, girl. My dick is impetuous. My sex drive is impregnable, and I'm just horny. I want your body. I want to eat your--"

And I must end this dire imitation here, before I plunge into Lovecraftian madness.

 

Hey, Is That My Mom?

This is how the good folk of Bryn Mawr responded when Rick Santorum showed up to promote his book, It Takes a Mass Delusion. Hopefully, the rest of Philly feels the same way, if only because I want to see 1.5 million people holding up those "Rick on the Weekend" signs.

Friday, August 05, 2005

 

Who's My Little Douchebag of Liberty?

Why so down, Bob Novak? Did the stress of costing a CIA agent her livelihood and helping to mislead the nation finally get to you? Do you need a hug, baby? Or maybe a nap will help.

Good God, I can't wait to see what Jon Stewart had to say about this.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

 

Wayne Brady Has Choked the Bitch

Chappelle's Show is no more. My little brother is in a state of mourning.

I'll miss you, Tyrone Biggums... I'll miss you, Rick James... and oh, Charlie Murphy, I'll miss you most of all!

 

Now, Where's That Culture War?

Oh, look at that: 53% of Americans are just fine with gay people entering into arrangements that confer many of the benefits of marriage.

Little bits of sanity like this just make my day.

 

Queer for the Court

Well, maybe John Roberts isn't all that bad...

I've still got a mixed view of him, though, leaning slightly towards negative. For now, though, let's savor the noise of the far right having a collective embolism, shall we?

EDIT: Aaaaand he's back in the negative.

"devotes a section to the so-called 'right to privacy,' arguing as we have that such an amorphous right is not to be found in the Constitution. He specifically criticizes Roe v. Wade."

I've made known my views on those who say we have no right to privacy. Someone give this man a cavity search. Just because.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

 

And Would You Let Allah Sort 'Em Out, Bill?

So, how could we possibly improve our image of Guantanamo, a place where enemy combatants are held without trial and subjected to interrogation techniques that at the very least border on torture? Well, we could always follow the suggestion of Bill O'Reilly and kill all the detainees for being... arrested? Brown?

Oh, right; terrorists. Shame no one has proven it, yet...

 

Hmm... What Rhymes With "Mitt"?

Two things that make me feel all warm inside about the ballot to ban both same-sex marriage and civil unions in Massachusetts:

But, even if the issue makes it to the ballot its success is unclear. A public opinion poll earlier this year showed that most people in Massachusetts have grown comfortable with same-sex marriage since it became legal a year ago and 52 percent of respondents said they would oppose amending the state constitution.

The feeling that I'm truly accepted by the people of my state...

Gov. Mitt Romney has thrown his support behind the coalition's initiative because it would also prevent the state from allowing civil unions.

...and my burning hatred for Mitt Romney and his nebulous opinions.

 

Oh, Chewie! Do Me Like That!

Y'know, if people took the time they devoted to coming up with fake sex crazes and making the guy who exposed them look like a furry and spent it in soup kitchens and the like, we'd probably be two steps away from utopia. (Ganked from Reason.)

 

Looking Before You Leap

Okay, so, remember those Irani kids a few weeks back who were supposedly hung for being gay? Remember the fervor stirred up by the liberal blogosphere (me included)? Well, now it looks like there may have been another reason: rape.

Then again, the issue still isn't clear, but maybe we should wait to see what emerges before taking this any further. Next time, I'll make sure of what I'm raging against before I actually do.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

 

Love Inaction

Well, it looks like "Zach"'s back, safe and sound. He sounds a little worse for the wear, but when you consider that he entered into a program that told kids to off themselves if they couldn't leave gayness behind, it could have been much worse.

Monday, August 01, 2005

 

Brought to You By the Letters C, V, and S

Hey, look! The Corporation for Public Broadcasting is going to be funding a media orgy to help students learn about politics! That's pretty good... right?

But an emphasis by corporation officials on how corporate investors could profit from the project has provoked controversy about the role commercial interests will play in the initiative and hints at new areas of conflict in public broadcasting's reliance on private-sector support.

That's right; for all of Tomlinson's blab about the "liberal bias" of PBS, he's ready to whore out to whichever corporate interest ponies up the most cash. I mean, I'm not against corporate funding of educational initiatives; hell, that's one of the reasons I admire Andrew Carnegie. But when the guy behind the initiative tries to sell the program as "a Trojan horse to get into the school system", my confidence kind of flags.

 

Filth and Degradation

Goddamnit, I can't wait until The Aristocrats comes to Boston. Any movie that gets a NC-17 rating on the strength of language alone deserves my hard-earned cash. Unfortunately, it's only running in New York and LA for now, but Majikthise, in her infinite glory, was able to provide a clip of Eric Cartman giving his rendition of "The Aristocrats".

Now, imagine 90 minutes of that. Comedy gold, I tells ya.

 

I Just Can't Bring Myself to Care Anymore

Oh, look. Another instance where Bush flouted the viable concerns of others and just went ahead and did what he wanted. And I shouldn't be surprised; he's done it before, time after time, and he's sure as hell going to do it again.

It's kinda sad that I've gotten used to crap like this.

 

Roberts' Rules of Order

So, that John Roberts? Not so much on the civil rights. Despite how questionable I find affirmative action, you can't actually ask me to side with someone who takes the side of Southie when it comes to busing and wanted to limit the scope of the Voters' Rights Act.

Oh, and then there's this:

The following year, Roberts argued against intervening in a sex discrimination case involving alleged disparities between training programs available to male and female prisoners in Kentucky. "If equal treatment is required, the end result in this time of tight state prison budgets may be no programs for anyone," he wrote.

"He basically implies that it would be too expensive to ensure equal treatment for women prisoners," said Debra Ness, president of the advocacy group Partnership for Women & Families. "The idea that financial interest would trump equality -- that's the same kind of thinking that reinforced a system of entrenched discrimination over decades."


Surrenderism in action, folks. Fuck John Roberts.

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