Monday, October 31, 2005


But How Does He Smell?

The surgery went extremely well. I was out in the hospital within 30 minutes of the procedure, the bleeding stopped after two hours, and even though I'd expected to be out of classes for two days, I'm back at Emerson tonight.

I hung around the house for a few hours while making sure the bleeding had stopped. I caught up on Rome via OnDemand (because sometimes you need a visual experience that TWoP just can't provide), ate Chinese take-out with the rest of the family, and handed out candy to trick-or-treaters. Then, I came back.

The best part is, my nose doesn't look that different! I think it's because the septum was broken and rearranged to give the implant something to rest on back when it was put in, and it's held throughout everything. Which is cool.


Here Come De Judge

So, Bush is now vetting Samuel "Scalia Genuine Draft" Alito.

Cover your ass and grab the ammo, sweetheart. There's gonna be a war.


Under the Knife

Well, I'm back home. In about three-and-a-half hours, I'll be having the corrective implant removed, and hopefully the infection will be flushed out.

Wish me luck.

Sunday, October 30, 2005


Everything Bad For Them Is Good For Me

Ah, my new TV viewing schedule has arrived! Let's dissect some of the bigger hunks of crap on this list, shall we?

Everybody Hates Chris- Wait, this is in the plus column? Chris Rock is probably composing an expletive-laden letter to the PTC as we speak.

Dancing With the Stars- Yes, folks, a reality show with absolutely no impact on reality is perfect family fare.

The War at Home- I agree that this shouldn't be watched, but for reasons of taste and decorum, not foul-language.

Family Guy and American Dad- I'll already watching the first, but there's no way in Hell I'm watching the second.

CSI- What? I thought Bozell would have loved the fact that everyone who had pre- or extramarital relations last season was horribly, brutally, and mercilessly killed. I mean, who needs 7th Heaven when you have an adulterous wife setting herself on fire?

Cold Case- Okay, this is where I call bullshit. I watch Cold Case regularly, and I know what's really twisting Bozell's panties: the sensitive treatment of gay issues. Last season alone, we had episodes that dealt with transexualism, gay marriage, and lesbianism as if they weren't big deals. Which must set Bozell's pretty little (and I mean little) brain on fire.

So, according to this list, I am seriously debauched, and a bad example to children. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Saturday, October 29, 2005



It's snowing already. Soon, Boston will freeze over, and badly CGI'd wolves will chase us through the streets.

I should have gone to New College. That way, I'd be both warm and treated fairly. Not that I'm being treated unfairly here (probably half the male student body is gay).


A New Type Of Christmas Tree, Perhaps?

People, it says Jesus was nailed to the tree, not on it.

I really don't get the national pasttime of pareidolia. Do some people have such a lack of faith in God that they have to look for him everywhere? I mean, I truly believe God exists. I don't need to treat a cluster of bark like a Magic Eye drawing to back that up.

Friday, October 28, 2005


The Slow Start Of a Long Fall

So, Scooter Libby has been indicted on five counts. And he resigned as a direct result.

Faster, Fitzgerald. Kill! Kill!


To Boldy Go Where No Man Has Gone Before

Mr. Sulu comes out of the closet. Good for him. I'd make some warm-hearted jokes, but everything I know about Star Trek has come from geek osmosis.

Speaking of which, Pam found an excellent resource detailing the history, or lack thereof, of GLBT issues on Star Trek. It's pretty detailed, and will give Star Trek fans yet another reason to hate Rick Berman.

Thursday, October 27, 2005



...I must be the last person to talk about the fact that Harriet Miers has realized that she has no chance of getting on Court and just given up. Bad blogger. Bad.

Now the real question: can Bush find someone even less qualified?


You Don't Have To Be An Absolute Paragon Of Health To Work Here...

...oh, wait. Yes, you do.

To discourage unhealthy job applicants, Ms. Chambers suggests that Wal-Mart arrange for "all jobs to include some physical activity (e.g., all cashiers do some cart-gathering)."

Wow. I haven't seen someone so directly flout the Americans with Disabilities Act since Scalia politely asked crippled people to crawl up staircases.

Life insurance, she said, was "a high-satisfaction, low-importance benefit, which suggests an opportunity to trim the offering without substantial impact on associate satisfaction." Wal-Mart refers to its employees as associates.

Okay, remember that Dilbert comic where the Pointy-Haired Boss announced that company life insurance has been cancelled because it increases the risk that greedy relatives will kill you? That wasn't meant to be implemented in the real world.

She wrote that "the cost of an associate with seven years of tenure is almost 55 percent more than the cost of an associate with one year of tenure, yet there is no difference in his or her productivity. Moreover, because we pay an associate more in salary and benefits as his or her tenure increases, we are pricing that associate out of the labor market, increasing the likelihood that he or she will stay with Wal-Mart."

See? We care about our workers! Mostly, we care about how quickly we can toss them out on their ass!

I honestly don't believe that any corporation can maintain this level of bureaucratic evil naturally. They must take night classes from C. Montgomery Burns.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


Oh, He's Just Doing It To Get Shot At

Here, we have Alex Cornell du Houx, a 21-year-old Bowdoin College student who, despite being stringently opposed to the aims of this administration, is going over to serve in Iraq with the Marines. What say you, head of the Bowdoin College Republicans?

Daniel Schuberth, a leader of the Bowdoin College Republicans and College Republican national secretary, said, "I applaud Mr. Houx for his service, just as I applaud any other soldier who is brave enough to take up arms in defense of his country.

Well, that's nice. I'm glad he was finally able to bypass the party lines and show his gratitude towards this man's selfless act.

I find it troubling, however,

Oh, shit. He just couldn't let it stop with a nice "Thanks for protecting my ass," could he?

that one of the most vocal opponents of our president, our country and our mission in Iraq has chosen to fight for a cause he claims is wrong. Mr. Houx's rhetoric against the war on terror places him in agreement with the most radical fringes of the Democratic Party, and I am left to question his logic and motivation."

See, Daniel, here is his motivation: he is a Marine. He has been since high school. He could have taken the route of other members of the Armed Force who oppposed this war and fled for the land of maple trees, but he didn't. Instead, he decided to go over and do his part to try and protect his fellow Americans overseas.

You, on the other hand, have not moved from your position as head of the Bowdoin College Republicans, and have lumped a man who has done something you do not apparently have the Hostess Snowballs to do with the "lunatic fringe" (which I guess also consists of, I don't know, 3/5s of the country).

You could have thanked Mr. du Houx for what is a brave act of self-sacrifice. And, seeing as you aren't engaging in such self-sacrifice yourself, that thanks should come twofold.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Fitzmas Time Is Heeeeere...

...happiness and cheeeeer...

Up to five indictments. What are the odds Bush is one of them?


The Magic Bus

Rosa Parks, symbol of a movement, herald of the boycott, is dead.

I wish you the best in the life beyond, Rosa. You earned it.

Monday, October 24, 2005


We've Always Been At War With Eastasia

Well, now that I've gotten all the funny and inconsequential stuff out of the way, time for the angry making.

Daniel Goetz is a soldier currently serving in Iraq, seven months after he was supposed to have been released from service. During his time, he maintained a blog called All The King's Horses. One of his posts made it to Operation Truth... and then the Pentagon stepped in.

Well, not explicitly. But. Compare (pre-OT) and contrast (post-OT). From "God, save America" to "I am officially a supporter of the administration and of her policies."

So, basically, his blog has been reprogrammed, despite the fact that he had a good grasp of what was in the Uniform Code of Military Justice, and made strong attempts to adhere to it. We're fighting for what, exactly?


A Failure For Aesthetics Everywhere

Uwe Fucking Boll has been confirmed for directing an adaptation of Postal, the game that made Joe Lieberman's head explode. The Muses-- all nine of them-- are now probably considering a suicide pact.

Look, guys, I know I want to piss off Jack Thompson, too, but at what cost? My God, at what cost?


Flashback Dance Party!

If you've seen at least one episode of Lost, then go. Just... go. (Ganked from Dark, But Shining.)

Strangely enough, the little Discworld gag explains everything. The security system is The Luggage!

Sunday, October 23, 2005


It's a Dead Man's Party, Leave Your Body at the Door

So a Quaker group is holding vigils in order to draw attention to the 2000th reported death of an US soldier, and Michelle Malkin thinks it's a party. Now, see, my parties usually have more noisemakers, refreshments, and karaoke contests, and less-- what is it?-- mourning. God, I'd hate to see what kind of parties Malkin throws.

Saturday, October 22, 2005


It's So Cute, I May Contract Diabetes

Sometimes, when college, life, and the assholes in Washington get to be too much, I like a little something cute. And that something cute is Tai Shan, nee Butterstick, getting a physical (ganked from Shakespeare's Sister).

Aww. It's almost enough to make me forget about the bird flu.

Thursday, October 20, 2005


Will You At Least Nail These Bastards?

Well, the Pentagon failed to go higher than staff sergeant when it came to laying out the blame for Abu Ghraib, and pretty much ignored the whole "war dead for porn" thing. Hopefully, they'll finally realize that the Geneva Convention deserves to be protected and take these fuckers who supposedly set fire to Taliban corpses for propaganda purposes and nail them to the wall.

Eh, who am I kidding? They'll probably get a medal for it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Field Trip!

I can't believe I didn't read about this until this morning... especially since I had EAGLE last night (Emerson Alliance for Gays, Lesbians, and Everyone).

Now to get one hundred water balloons before Saturday.


It Was Nice Knowing You, Nose

Well, after seven weeks, two different doctors, and a wide variety of drugs (and not the fun kind), it's official: the bridge has to go. Something has gotten so deep into the GoreTex that all medicine does is suppress it. Now I've got to find a Monday that's not on midterms to get my surgery done.

Eh. Could be worse, I guess.


And My Brain is Rent Asunder

Harriet Miers voted to deny civil rights to people with AIDS! No, she voted for such protections! She was in favor of a constitutional amendment to ban all "non-life saving" abortions! But the fact that she took the anti-choice side is pure politics, says the White House!

Damn. Who needs talking points when your own history offers up a "point/counterpoint" scenario?

Sunday, October 16, 2005


You Can't Be Pro-Equality Until Everyone's Equal

Anyone who watches CSI, The Amazing Race, or any of Jerry Bruckheimer's 5000 other tentacles on CBS will occasionally see a spot where an actor on one of the shows will deliver a brief PSA, all under the message of "CBS Cares." The truth is, they really don't, seeing as they just shitcanned the UCC "Jesus didn't turn anyone away" ad for a second time. And their reasoning?

After reaching an impasse, Buford asked the executives what would have to change for the ad to be acceptable. "The executives said that it would have to become commonplace across the United States for churches to welcome gays and lesbians," Buford said. (emphasis mine)

Wow. Wow. That's like the networks saying to Lyndon Johnson, "We can't air your 'Daisy' ad until widespread nuclear nonproliferation is achieved." That's like talking to the people who designed the Willie Horton ad that brought Dukakis down and saying, "We're sorry, but we can't air this until the death penalty is reinstated." Do these fuckers lack the basic understanding of what makes a commercial?

No. No, I doubt they do. It's just they don't want to challenge the status quo. They just want to let the money roll in, and fuck the gay people who want religion. Sons of whores.

Friday, October 14, 2005


GTA: Mecca

Wow. I didn't honestly think I could hate Jack Thompson any more than I did before. Then I read his Wiki:

"The Bible doesn't promote killing innocent people," Thompson said. "Grand Theft Auto does. Islam does."

"Islam promotes the killing of innocent people," Thompson said. "The Quran requires the infidel, whether Jew or Christian, to be killed. … That's a core essence of the religion. … Muhammad was a pirate who killed infidels and who advocated the killing of infidels. Not a nice guy. Osama bin Laden is in keeping with his fine tradition."

So, he's not just a juvenile, violently abusive slanderer, he's a bigot. Fuck this man.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Your Logic Is Different From Our Earth Logic

"Hey... I hate the current standard of violence in video games. It's repellent, and I believe it turns normal children into soulless killing machines. So... if I were to offer $10,000 to charity if someone makes a game that contains everything I hate about video games, but targets it at game designers... I will be morally superior!"

Damn. Jack Thompson wins the award for Best Use of Drunk Logic By a (Supposedly) Sober Man.


Not That That's Important or Anything...

AgapePress: "Uh, yeah, it's totally a coincidence that the guy who wants to stop us from violating the separation of church and state is Jewish. And it's also totally a coincidence that we're calling attention to this seemingly irrelevant fact in the first line of our story. I mean, we love Israel-- I mean, 'Jewish people'."

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Qualifications? What Are Those?

In order to appease his rapidly souring base, Bush has officially come out and said that he chose Harriet Miers because of her religious beliefs. Well, it certainly makes a lot more sense than anything else.

Remember the days when someone's experience in a certain area led to their forward promotion in said area? God, I miss them.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


Fools Rush In

Oh, look. Bolton blocked a UN envoy from describing the atrocities in Sudan, even lining up with Russia, China, and Algeria- who are all so concerned with human rights- to block the action. Now, I agree with Bolton's statement that we need to be in there sooner than later, but still, wouldn't it be best if we knew what we were getting ourselves into exactly before jumping in?

Oh, wait. I forgot just who I was talking about.


Uh... God Told Me. I Swear.

Arlen Specter wants to subpoena James Dobson for saying that he knows things about Harriet Miers "that [he] probably shouldn't know". Arlen Specter is all, "Yeah, now who's qualified to vet candidates, beeyotch?"

Monday, October 10, 2005


It's My Turn, You Greedy Gus!

Please, someone, anyone tell me why the Democratic establishment would be trying to push Paul Hackett out of the picture after earning 48% of the vote in a state that's redder the Mars. And use actual Earth logic this time, and not this "turn" crap.


Halloween Did Always Bring Out the Weirdos

Just in time for Witches' Night, some of the more nutsoid output of the religious right.

Pam has up some more stuff about that weird-ass Harry Potter knock-off, Harry Polarity. And with it, some bonus scans from a laughable comic about gayness. First of all, learn how to spell "faggot." Second of all, if an insult is all it takes for one to assume they're something, then the seniors who called me "psycho" throughout my freshman year would be responsible for accommodation in a nice padded cell.

Not wanting to be left out, Shakes has a really strange book about cowboy evangelists shooting up Satan. I just love the little afterword: "Guns are dangerous but have no power in the spirit realm." Something tells me Carman's been playing too much World of Darkness.

How I wish I had my own bit of wingnuttery to share. Well, maybe it's for the best;
I'm afraid if I actually got my hands on any of this, I'd laugh myself into a coma.

Saturday, October 08, 2005


Good. Now, Get To Work On The Possible Violation Of The Geneva Convention.

The man who ran, the "Iraqi war dead for my wife's tits" website, has been arrested-- for obscenity, a.k.a. "porn." Which is like arresting a rapist for public nudity.

It's official. It doesn't matter what we do to others; we're America, damnit! Fuck this.


Up In Flames

A close friend of Harriet Miers is saying that she "doubts" Miers would overturn Roe v. Wade, while Dallas's gay leaders aren't complaining about her nom. Wow. Bush sure knows how to pick 'em.


You Can Be Gay, But You Can't Be Gay, All Right?

The good news is, the Vatican is now stepping back, allowing gay men to be priests if they've been celibate for three years. The bad news is, anyone who "publicly manifests" their homosexuality (as if it's a mutant power) or shows some attraction to "gay culture" still gets the boot, which would mean no more Father Judges.

Sorry, Joey Rats. Still not buying it.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


At Least Someone's Sane

90 Senators have come out and declared that torture is bad, no matter what Bush says.

See, things like this give a little bit of hope. At least, until it hits the House.


Somewhere, A Neocon Weeps Into His Drink

So, if we are to believe a pair of Palestinian ministers, Bush told them that God told him to invade Iraq in order to create a new Palestinian state.

Yes, it's probably about as true as the Scientologist account of the creation. Still. It's fun to imagine the multiple shades of red Pat Robertson's face will turn when he hears about this.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Look! Up in the Sky!

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's an obscene waste of government money!

$500,000 to an airline company so they can paint their planes to look like fish. Oh, and it looks like the grant went through Ben Stevens, son of Rep. Ted "$1.5 Million For a Bus Stop" Stevens.

There's fiscal responsibility, and then there's this.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


Science Fiction Double Feature

Dear Sci Fi Channel:

You pass on the new Doctor Who series, calling it "lacking"... yet pay cash money for the privelege of airing movies by Uwe Fucking Boll?

One of the strongest mass fanbases in the world, people. Right behind sports, in fact. And the only thing the SciFi network's actually done for them in the past few years is Battlestar Galactica. Christ. It's like watching Comedy Central air knock-knock jokes.


Still Alive... But Barely

Yes, I know, I haven't posted in the last two days. Sorry.

So, Bush is pushing Harriet Miers for Supreme Court. Aside from what can be barely gleaned at (ostensibly supported civil rights for gays and lesbians and gay adoption, yet opposed overturning Texas sodomy laws), she's... another blank slate. Just like Roberts.

Wow. So this is what a complete lack of caring looks like.

Sunday, October 02, 2005


Desperate Networks

And now, a timeline of suspicious actions committed by ABC regarding homosexuality:

-November 2004: Airs a 20/20 documentary that "re-examines" the Matthew Shepard case by talking exclusively to the killers (which violates the plea bargain of one of them) and various acquaintances of the killers.

-July 2005: Announces "Welcome to the Neighborhood", in which seven "outsider" families (including a gay couple) are put at the mercy of three white conservative Christian couples in order to win a house in an exclusive Austin suburb.

-August 2005: Has two "ex"-gays on The View... and no one on who will refute their bullshit talking points.

-October 2005: Has James "Gays Will Kill Us All!" Dobson and his organization on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

At least this thing is on right before Desperate Housewives. Maybe it'll be like when matter meets antimatter.


Empty Pews at Empty Churches

Ratzinger's not going to be satisfied until the Church is indistinguishable from Opus Dei, is he? Now he's drafting a proposal to ban Catholic politicians who support same-sex marriage from taking the sacrament.

I'm telling you, it's just a matter of time until there's a schism.

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