Friday, December 23, 2005


Down in the Tropics

Attention, please. The Evil Petting Zoo will be closed between the 24th and the 31st, as the Cognito Clan is heading down to Roatan, an island off of Honduras, in a vague attempt to remember what it is like to feel warm.

See you all later.


Two Degrees of Segregation

Now, before I get into this, I'd just like to ask: Why the fuck does almost every pundit on the far right feel the need to bag on Kwanzaa? Yes, it's a strange, semi-Black Power holiday, but it's not hurting anyone. Yet they always feel the need to attack it like its founder raped Santa and turned Rudolph into venison, in some strange knee-jerk reaction to multiculturalism.

That being said, I find it funny- in the sense of a clown car crash- how an article attacking Kwanzaa made its way from the Jewish World Review to Stormfront. This says quite a lot about both sides.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


If Gay Men Keep Kissing, The Terrorists Win

Well. Turns out Bush has used his spy network to keep tabs on such obvious threats to liberty as Greenpeace, the Catholic Workers Group, and PETA. And now it turns out they were keeping tabs on the Servicemembers Legal Defense Fund, which works to protect queer soldiers and overturn DADT.

A February protest at NYU was also listed, along with the law school’s LGBT advocacy group OUTlaw, which was classified as “possibly violent” by the Pentagon. A UC-Santa Cruz “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” protest, which included a gay kiss-in, was labeled as a “credible threat” of terrorism.

Yup, those gays! We all know about the radical queer terrorists who are blowing up the Midwest!

This isn't about "credible threats." This was never about "credible threats." There was one message behind Bush's privacy violations, and it is clear: "I don't like you."

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Get Away From Me, You Damn, Dirty Soviets!

Well, it looks like Hitler wasn't the only European dictator who was looking into just plain fucked up science to further his reign. According to the Scotsman, recently uncovered documents show that Stalin ordered one of his scientists to come up with an unstoppable half-man, half-ape army.

I don't even want to know how much liquor was involved in this experiment.

Monday, December 19, 2005


Mr. Montag, You Have a Call On Line One

Here's the state of Communism in the world: sad fucking sack. The "Red Menace" is not so menacing. China has abandoned all economic pretenses of Communism in the name of becoming an US trading partner (not that it hasn't abandoned the social ones; a few Christians could tell you that). North Korea isn't a threat because it's red, but because its leader is batshit crazy. And Cuba? Cuba's nothing more than a dying cow that real estate vultures are circling, waiting to dive in on the moment Castro well and truly kicks it.

All of which doesn't explain why the Department of Homeland Security thought it would be fruitful to send two agents after a student who needed Mao's Little Red Book for a paper.

Oh, wait. With the current intel situation in Washington, I know why this happened. Because it could.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


Spy Games

Well, finals are over, and everything's back to normal. And just in time for the massive shitstorm.

So, Bush has authorized programs to have both the NSA and the DOD spy on civilains for a variety of reasons. He has overseen these programs for the past three years. And not once during this time did he think it would be good to try and get a warrant, or anything that could possibly put him in the legal right.

Am I angry? Fuck yes. Am I disappointed? I have been for a long time. But am I surprised? No. Bush's administration has been a cavalcade of scandals, lies, and solipsistic self-indulgence. A war with a motive that changes weekly? Sure. An escort/paid GOP mouthpiece in the press room? No problem. Spending the budget like a drunken businessman in a titty bar? Hey, we need the extra mansions. Outing a CIA agent for personal reasons? That'll teach the bitch. Fiddling while New Orleans floods? Oh, they're all poor, so who cares?

This is not unprecedented. Still, it doesn't make it any less horrific. What Bush has done here has crossed the line between "I'm trying to do what I can to protect America" to "I don't like you." When you're spying on fucking Quakers, you need to be slapped upside the head with breakneck velocity.

One last thing. I know the phrase "worse than Watergate" gets tossed about with semi-regular frequency in the pundit arena and the blogosphere. Well, guess what? This is worse than Watergate. Watergate was Nixon using his cronies to gather information on his political opponents. This is Bush using the US intelligence community to gather information on anyone who looks at him funny. Impeach the fucker now.

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Intimidation Is Not a Civil Right

Apparently, some House Republicans are responding to allegations of violation of church and state at the USAF Academy by introducing a bill that would guarantee the chaplains' right to mention Jesus Christ. Choice quote:

Conservative lawmakers and others said they fear the guidelines, which urge sensitivity to religious diversity, go too far.

They said some Christian chaplains throughout the military have complained their right to pray by specifically mentioning Jesus Christ is at risk.

And, to compare, here's what others have said is going on at the USAF Academy:

There have been 55 complaints of religious discrimination at the academy in the past four years, including cases in which a Jewish cadet was told the Holocaust was revenge for the death of Jesus and another was called a Christ killer by a fellow cadet.


"There were people walking up to someone and basically they would get in a conversation and it would end with, `If you don't believe what I believe you are going to hell,'" Vice Commandant Col. Debra Gray said.


"They are deliberately trivializing the problem so that we don't have another situation the magnitude of the sex assault scandal. It is inextricably intertwined in every aspect of the academy," said Mikey Weinstein of Albuquerque, N.M., a 1977 graduate who has sent two sons to the school. He said the younger, Curtis, has been called a "filthy Jew" many times.

Yes, I can certainly see why we need to protect students and chaplains who wish to express religious intimidation and outright bigotry. It's the American way.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Well, Either Way, We Won't Be Alone In Our Suffering Any More

Go ahead, Mitt. I dare you.


Oh, Look. There Goes My Sanity.

A Cthulhu Dildo Cozy.

A Cthulhu Dildo Cozy.


What is wrong with you people?

Monday, December 12, 2005


The Apocalypse Has Been Put On Hold

And not because someone misplaced the Antichrist this time.

According to Donald Wildmon, head of the American Family Association, if Abraham Foxman and the ADL don't stop criticizing the religious right for pointing out that they basically want to turn America into The Handmaid's Tale, then some of his people won't support the fight for Israel. You know, the one that, according to evangelical Zionism, is crucial to the Second Coming?

Well, at least the architects of the apocalypse are prone to petty squabbles.

Saturday, December 10, 2005


Tyranny in Numbers

I've always wondered about a tactic that occasionally comes to the forefront whenever someone in the religious right is making an argument against gay rights. This argument is that the population of gays in the United States is just 1% (as opposed to the 10% figure commonly touted). Now, I know that the 10% figure is faulty (10% is the number of people who've had gay experiences; 4% is the number of "exclusive" homosexuals), but I always found the 1% figure troubling.

But now I know what it is. These greatly religious men and women, these protectors of the weak, are arguing that we should be ignored at best, crushed at worst. We are small; they are great. We should bow before them, for they can and will fuck with us.

Don't believe me? Read this quote from William Donohue, leader of the Catholic League and self-appointed field chaplain in the "War for Christmas":

"Ninety-six percent of Americans celebrate Christmas," Donohue said. "Spare me the diversity lecture."

See? In the minds of people like Donohue, the feelings of the minority do not matter. Numbers make might, and might makes right. Screw everyone else; they are small, and we can crush them.

Somebody stop these Pharisees, please.

Friday, December 09, 2005


Ringside Seats

In this corner... a man who focuses on the perversity of gay culture so much, that he often goes "undercover" at International Mr. Leather events clothed in full cowhide.

In this corner... an awesome Southern lesbian blogger.

Who wins in this battle of the wits? Who do you think?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Kill... Me. Kill... Me.

Yeah, so, I don't think I'll be posting much for a while. Why?

It's finals season. And that means a whole lot of papers.

See you when sanity returns.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


No, Eagles!

You know what was one of the most surprising things I've ever read? According to a book I was flipping through to select potential colleges, Boston College is the least accepting of gays amongst the student body. Seriously; BYU (the one with electroshock aversion therapy) came in #3, and BC was #1.

So, of course I'm not surprised by BC's sudden cancellation of an AIDS fundraiser, due to the fact that they need "Vatican approval" for an upcoming school merger. And of course, the Vatican doesn't like the gays.

I can certainly say I'm glad I never looked at BC.


Matrimony in the UK

Congratulations to the British gays. Enjoy it, guys and gals.

Now, let's get to work on building something like that here, shall we?

Monday, December 05, 2005


Jump Around

Well, I'm pretty sure I can add this to the list of things I will never be able to do.

Still pretty awesome, though.

Sunday, December 04, 2005


Can I Borrow a Feeling?

I'm glad John McCain is giving me a series of good reasons to hate his guts:

MCCAIN: I think he has become too emotional and understandably so. He goes to funerals. He goes, as many of us do, out to Walter Reed, and he sees the price of war. And I think that that has had some effect on him…

Yes, because the real leaders stay far, far away from the cost of war. That way, it keeps the cognitive dissonance down, and the nasty headaches away.

Now, you'll see no greater fan of logic than me (well, maybe except for Vulcans). But goddamnit, sometimes there are things when we feel things are wrong because they're wrong. If Murtha really is so emotional, then why is that so bad?


Humiliated and Abused Twice

Why don't more women come forward to report cases of rape? Because of shit like this, that's why.

The main piece of evidence is that the woman's friends (who, as Kevin Hayden, who knows the girl in question, were either drunk out of their minds or the ones who actually convinced the girl to go to court) thought that she didn't "act" traumatized. There is no "one trauma fits all" rule. Some people shower constantly; some never shower, out of fear of nudity. Some react with anger; others, with tears. Just because a woman does not "act" traumatized does not mean that everything is peachy keen.

If this woman lied, then it was bad. But in any case, the judicial system has punished this girl for coming forward to report a rape. In an area of crime where only 39% of attacks go reported, how is this going to help?


Pining for the Fords

Okay, I think we can all agree that the heads of Ford are cowards who can't do the market research to determine that the "boycotts" organized by the AFA and their ilk rarely bear fruit.

Still, I don't really see the point of publishing Henry Ford's The International Jews. Yes, yes, we all know that Ford was an anti-Semitic douchenozzle. That doesn't really have much of an effect on their current business practices.

Saturday, December 03, 2005


Dr. Jekyll, Meet Mr. Hyde

You know, I should have expected John Bolton and James Dobson forming some unholy partnership and trying to drive down the network of the US in the eyes of the world community. But I didn't. Funny, that.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


You Will Be Assimilated

Today is Blog Against Racism Day, so I'm going to talk about one of the most detestable stereotypes, one that is used often in the context of racism, but is given hearty exercise by practitioners of any "-ism": the Hive Mind Theory.

In science fiction, a "hive mind" makes for an interesting look at how an alien species thinks. In a hive mind, all members of a species share the same basic thoughts. While there may be a few individual thoughts, every participant basically thinks the same way. There are a few "organic" hive minds throughout science fiction, but more commonly, the hive mind appears among robotic species, such as the Borg or the Cylons.

Now, here's the thing. A hive mind is an interesting concept for a sci-fi series. But humans do not have a hive mind. There is no group that shares the vast majority of its thoughts and beliefs with any other member of its group. And the sad part is, a lot of people think they do. A lot of people think that all blacks are potential criminals, all Arabs are potential terrorists, all women are unable to defend themselves, and all gay men are sex maniacs.

The worst thing is seeing someone who's actually been accused of having a hive mind accusing another group of the same. I rarely go into the Comments section at Towleroad whenever a topic comes up on Arabs or Muslims, because I know that there will be a few trolls who argue that all Muslims hate gays or all Arabs are violent and subhuman. Keep in mind that most of the commentators at Towleroad are gay men, who have been accused over the years of having some overreaching agenda to corrupt America's youth. The fact that they've been the target of the hive mind smear tactic and can't even realize that they're using it is sad, to say the least.

No one thinks exactly the same as someone else. There is no "they" when it comes to a group; there are "mosts", there are "somes", but there are no "alls." And, most importantly of all, none of our fellow humans are aliens. So let's leave the hive mind for the science fiction writers, shall we?


I See Gay People

It sounds like a bad parody of The Eye: someone receives an ocular transplant from a gay man, and suddenly she starts seeing everything as fabulous and is able to tell fuschia from mauve.

I'm sorry, but that's the only logical explanation for this rage-inducing story, in which a gay man's eyes and tissue were rejected because the CDC has set up rules that allow centers to reject organs from people who've had sex with men in the past five years. So I choose to believe that the cause was rooted in a Korean horror movie rather than the outdated opinion that gay men are all potential AIDS carriers.

Are we even human, in their eyes?


Like a Broken Rape Whistle

Donald Rumsfield inadvertantly explains why torture keeps on happening:

When UPI's Pam Hess asked about torture by Iraqi authorities, Rumsfeld replied that "obviously, the United States does not have a responsibility" other than to voice disapproval.

But Pace had a different view. "It is the absolute responsibility of every U.S. service member, if they see inhumane treatment being conducted, to intervene, to stop it," the general said.

Rumsfeld interjected: "I don't think you mean they have an obligation to physically stop it; it's to report it."

But Pace meant what he said. "If they are physically present when inhumane treatment is taking place, sir, they have an obligation to try to stop it," he said, firmly.

"Well, if you see a man with electrodes clamped to his genitals, then just complain to your superiors. I'm sure that will stop it."

I'm also curious about the fact that Rumsfield says the US "does not have a responsibility" other than to cry foul when people are being treated inhumanely. And yet, that's one of the main reasons we went into Iraq, isn't it? I mean, aside from the twenty-six other reasons that the Administration has given us.


Perfect Conditions for a Shitstorm

So, it turns out that Alito advocated the overturning of Roe v. Wade in a 1985 memo. That is, unless it was "a political move", like apparently all of his other reprehensible decisions.

Here comes the fight, gentlemen. And Roe's just the start of it. If Roe falls, then the whole issue of the right to privacy is up in the air. And if the religious right has its way, then that will mean the repeal of everything from Griswold v. Connecticut to Lawrence v. Texas.

Do you want to maintain your privacy? Then don't support Alito.

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