Wednesday, May 31, 2006


A Fundamental Disconnect

So, it turns out that no one decided to fill Bush in on the possible war crime in a timely fashion:

When was the president first briefed about the events in Haditha?

"When a Time reporter first made the call,'' Snow said. "Time began asking questions about it.''

The president then was briefed by National Security Adviser Steve Hadley, Snow said, and the president "began asking questions then.''

So, there was a definite information gap between Bush and the people who knew about Haditha, a gap that went unbridged for two months. Kind of gives some weight to Rep. Murtha's theories about a cover-up.

And yet, despite this massive failure to communicate, guess who's not being targeted in the Haditha probe! Got that right-- anyone in a position of power!

Pentagon investigations into the shooting deaths of Iraqi civilians are focused on about a dozen enlisted Marines and do not target their commanding officers, the lawyer for one of the officers said Tuesday.

There was clearly something wrong with the spread of information on the Haditha attack, and I'm betting it twasn't the soldiers who fired the guns who are retarding the flow of crucial data. And yet, I have the sinking feeling that, like at Abu Ghraib, they'll be the only ones taking the fall for it.


I Knew I Should've Filed Down My Horns

So, according to James Dobson, I'm one of the "forces of hell." Joy.

Still, it's not as much fun as finding out that, according to Tim LaHaye, we're two-thirds of the genetic donation that makes up the future Antichrist. I read those shitty, shitty novels back when I could be easily brainwashed, so, for summary: this is an Antichrist who had two gay dads, heads up the UN, and uses the Catholic Church as his theological mouthpiece. He couldn't be more of a religious right boogeyman if he declared fetuses as a cheap renewable food source.

See, it comes down to this: to the religious right, we are the source of all evil. Sure , they dress it up in this "love the sinner, hate the sin" claptrap. But whenever a natural disaster happens, we're blamed, for we have pissed off God. When we want to get married, we are either orchestrating a Protocols of the Elders of Zion-esque conspiracy to destroy marriage or indirectly serving Beelzebub. And when we want to have children, we give birth to the Antichrist.

I just love feeling damned.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


This Can't Possibly Backfire A Second Time!

News flash: Howard Dean just does not care anymore.

Still, Dean, the chairman of the Democratic National Committee, said in an interview with the Register-Guard newspaper that he hopes to eventually make another appearance on the Christian Broadcasting Network — and that he’s encouraging rank-and-file party members to discuss faith and morality.

And what is Dean's excuse for all this, you ask?

“Our Democratic values are American values,’’ Dean said. “Most people in this county, including evangelicals, think it’s immoral to let children go to bed hungry at night. They think it’s immoral not to have everyone in some kind of health insurance.’’

See, this is true. There are evangelical Christians who care about charity, about caring for others, about following Christ's message. They are a viable voting block, and the kind of religious voters the DNC really needs to reach out to.

And they are not the kind of evangelicals that Howard Dean is flirting with by going on CBN. For God's sake, this is Pat Robertson's network! This isn't the network of people devoted to spreading the word of Christ, but the network of people who will cling to anyone, anyone, as long as they will make sure to mention Jesus in stump speeches and make sure to protect them from the massing army of feminists, gays, and infidels.

Then again, who's to say these aren't the people Howard Dean is flirting with?


Could You Repeat the Message?

So, over the past few months, I've heard about Left Behind: Eternal Forces, the real time strategy videogame based on the book/movie franchise based on the creepy-ass bit of theology. Now, the game, taken objectively, is nothing too offensive: the forces of good and evil fighting a war of arms and minds at the end of the world.

That's the thing, however: the game cannot be taken objectively. The minds behind this game, the people who first dreamed this up, seriously believe that we are approaching the End Times, and that radical action, at times violent action, is required to stir change. It's like the big shots at Blizzard Entertainment honestly believing that the human race is being threatened by demonically-controlled orcs.

Most forms of media, no matter how inconsequential, have some sort of message attached to them. It can be simple, it can be complex, it can be good, it can be bad-- all that matters is, it is there, and it is getting across.

Amanda at Pandagon has been getting a bit of shit over her dissection of Miller Lite's fairly creepy "You poke it, you own it" ad. Amanda points out how many of the arguments in favor of-- well, maybe not in favor of the ad itself, but in favor of downplaying the ad's meaning, point out that there is "real shit" for people to worry about, and the ad is of no importance by comparison.

Now, I'm not arguing that there are matters of more importance in the world than one fucking obnoxious beer ad. But, as Amanda says, having the crap kicked out of you once a week is not invalidated by someone else having the crap kicked out of them daily. While perusing Amanda's links on the dustup, I found this post, which brought up a mention of Pimp: the Backhanding, a card game put out by White Wolf Game Studios about... well, you can imagine what it's about.

Now, I like White Wolf. They do some damn fine RPGs. But I still think that Pimp: the Backhanding was one of the most stupid, offensive ideas that has ever emerged from their brainpans. And the condescending, "there's worse shit happening in Africa" crap that the people behind the game tossed back at their critics didn't help at all. Of course there's worse shit happening in Africa. There's always worse shit happening somewhere. That doesn't give you an excuse to promote a product that embraces the same theme, if on a smaller scale.

See, everything-- everything-- starts somewhere. No system of ideas and prejudices emerges from whole cloth. The Left Behind videogame did not pop out of thin air; it popped out of a religious movement that has been developing for the past few decades that views anything not directly related to its goals as the enemy. The kind of rampant misogyny that allows someone to treat a woman like a sex toy does not just pop into someone's mind, but starts in ideas that a woman can be controlled in some aspects and that the things treasured by a man are inferior to the things treasured by a woman (speaking of that ridiculous Burger King ad again). As Jeff Whitty says in his letter, the dehumanization of gay people usually starts in depicting gay people not as three-dimensional people with individuals ideas, beliefs, and behaviors, but rather as a two-dimensional grouping of stereotypes.

Most things have a message these days. Especially the ones that make people go out of their way to argue that they don't.

Monday, May 29, 2006


Down The Memory Hole, Part Deux

Once again, the US government tries to get rid of the inconvenient by just sweeping it away.

We have closed court hearings. We have judges who are used to dealing with information detailing the identities of undercover cops day after day. And yet, we cannot bring the government to justice, because to do so would threaten "national security." Which tells you just how much Bush and Company think of the court system.

Come on, judges. Stand up to these fuckers.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


You've Gotta Fight For Your Rights...

If only someone would tell the HRC.

Let's face it; Joe Lieberman has a record of GLBT rights that's spotty at best, hypocritical at worst. Ned Lamont, Lieberman's challenger, has expressed unquestionable support for GLBT rights. And yet, the HRC supports Joe Lieberman.

When Pachacuetc questions Mike Mings, the HRC's Deputy Director of Electoral Activities and PAC Manager, and provides him with evidence that shows that Joe only uses gay and lesbians when it's politically expedient, Mings give him a storm of "I'll have to check back on that" (hint: he doesn't). This, however, may be the most telling part of the interview:

FDL: Have you looked at any of the positions of candidate Lamont in determining the extent to which he might support full marriage rights in ways that Senator Lieberman does not? Does that figure into your endorsement decision?

MINGS: Part of our endorsement decision is based upon incumbency, and when we have an incumbent who’s in office who is consistently fighting for our rights, then we tend to side on the side of incumbents to continue with that long record that’s been proven.

So, it doesn't matter that Holy Joe has been on and off about gay and lesbian rights. What matters is that he's been offering some degree of support, and he's had his ass in that chair longer than the other guy.

The HRC has grown fat and lazy. Remember their "brilliant" counterprotest at the RNC that consisted of a truck carting around a politically vague sign? I'm beginning to agree with Larry Kramer: What the fuck are you doing with all of that money?

Thursday, May 25, 2006


"They're Coming For Our Real Estate!"

Well, it's interesting to see how Lou Dobbs has gone from "a bit too hung up on illegal immigration" to "borderline racist."

That's right; Lou was reporting on the idea of "Aztlan" as if it actually had merit, and wasn't, well, invented from whole cloth by white supremacist groups. Y'know, kind of like the Council of Conservative Citizens, the group that Lou cited as a source for that piece.

If Dobbs doesn't apologize for this piece now, then he has no place in the media. At all.


And Now, A Reminder That There Is Justice In the World

Well, at least sometimes.

Now here's hoping these bastards get something a little bit more harsh than your typical vacation to Club Fed.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


Be A Hitler Youth For Jesus!

This is getting fucking ridiculous.

The first rock band that performed, Delirious, got the crowd festive and up on their feet with lyrics that were projected on large screens so that everyone could join in: “We’re an army of God and we’re ready to die.... Let’s paint this big ol’ town red.... We see nothing but the blood of Jesus....”

Between musical acts, Luce, the BattleCry founder, hammered away at the dominant theme of the night: his contention that “pew-sitters ... passive Christians ... the Christians who just want love, joy, peace ... ” were the problem, and that the world needed more radical and extreme God-worshippers—those who would be obedient and fully submit to Christ.

Luce would have us believe that everything went off track when the Bible-toting people of my grandparents’ generation were replaced by the “pew-sitters” of the Baby Boom generation. These are the people who, according to Luce, just wanted to passively benefit from the “love, joy and peace” message of Christianity without actively surrendering their wills and their selves completely upon Christ’s altar and working in His name.

Yeah, if only people would stop practicing “love, joy and peace.” Wouldn’t that make the world a better place....

Luce used this critique of pew-sitting Christians to assuage the doubts of the youths at the rally who may have been feeling uncertain about their commitment to the Church. “Don’t worry,” he was telling them, “you’ve been amongst pew-sitters--watered-down Christians. Welcome to the reign of total submission to the Lord.”

This is fascism wearing a cross. The "weak"- those who care, those who want to understand- are scorned. There must be no compromising with them, no attempt to find a middleground. You are the "strong," and to be strong, you must give yourself up entirely to Jesus.

Of course, when the article writer actually calls the organizer, Ron Luce, out on his bullshit, he gives this response:

“Why are you so angry?” he asked.

He's just called compassionate Christians "pew sitters," called for utter Biblical literalism (and blatantly ignored the child stoning, enemy slaying, gay bashing, woman subjugating hootenanny that is a good third of the Old Testament), and told children that they are warriors for Christ and should act as such. Maybe there's a reason we, the Christians who actually follow Christ's message, are so pissed off.


It Doesn't Quite Fit, Does It?

I don't really know how this helps OJ find the real killer, but he must know best.

In a scene from his new candid-camera program "Juiced," O.J. Simpson pulls a prank involving the infamous white Bronco, drawing criticism from the family of a man he was accused of killing.

As part of the pay-per-view show, Simpson pretends to sell the Bronco at a used car lot and boasts to a prospective buyer that he made the vehicle famous, according to a segment aired Thursday on "Inside Edition."

"It was good for me -- it helped me get away," Simpson said, referring to the slow-speed, televised police chase that preceded his 1994 arrest on charges of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman.

He's doing a pay-per-view crappy Punk'd knockoff? Oh, the poor, misguided bastard.

I'm glad to see OJ has moved beyond the charade of giving a crap and is now laughing openly at having- what's the term?- "juiced" America.

Monday, May 22, 2006


We're Watching You...

Well, the Attorney General of the United States has announced that the government can prosecute reporters for reporting on anything that happens to have had "National Security" stamped on it. Of course, whether this actually harms America (the outing of the CIA agent who was working on nuclear intelligence in Iran) or not (aspying on thousands of American citizens with a wiretap system that is, in effect, useless) doesn't seem to matter.

So, the US government's contempt of the press has gone from "seething" to "open." Let's see how the press responds.

Saturday, May 20, 2006


Give Me Liberty Or Give Me... Uh...

So, many liberal bloggers have noticed a meme sprouting up amongst Republican politicians, such as Pat Roberts. And that meme is, "You don't have civil liberties when you're dead." Which means, in some twisted sense, that we should just feel free to give them up at will when our lives are in danger.

We have gone through much since the founding of our nation. The British burned the seat of our government in the War of 1812. Our nation threatened to tear itself apart in the Civil War. There was talk of Germany flirting with Mexico with the promise of retaking lost territory in World War I. The Japanese struck us on American soil in World War II. We were afraid during the Cold War that we would have the air raid sirens and then... nothing, with America wiped away in a nuclear blast.

And never, not once, did we give up our liberties. Why? Because we are America. We were founded on the idea of liberties. The right to worship, the right to speak, the right to assemble, and the right to privacy. If these ideas die, then so does America. Destroy the idea of civil liberties, and all you have is an empty shell of a nation, filled with stuffed shirt patriotism.

Pat Roberts should be glad the angry ghost of Patrick Henry does not possess him and make him barf pea soup all over the Senate.


Sit Down, John!

McCain gets booed at the New School commencement address. Does it taste good, John?

Of course, New School president Bob Kerrey won't stand for this:

"You heard and saw two acts of bravery," the former senator said after the speeches of McCain and Rohe. "There will come a time when you will have to answer the question -- will you stand -- not heckling from an audience where no bravery is required -- but will you stand and say what you believe when you know that heckling and laughter and boos will arise?"

I think a more pertinent question would have been, "Will you be willing to throw away an 'unimportant' issue just to grab a vote from questionable sources?"

Friday, May 19, 2006


Sucking Down The Fumes

You have got to be fucking kidding me. (ganked from Pam's House Blend)

This is the brilliant rejoinder of the Competitive Enterprise Institute (a.k.a, the Flat Earth Society) to the global warming debate. According to them, carbon dioxide can't be that lethal in large amounts-- after all, plants breathe it in, right?

Let's look at a list of the other things necessary for humanity to live. Iron? We can suck down as many tablets as we want without risk of poisoning, or anything like that. Same with Vitamin A; anything we need that we consume in larger than normal amounts is healthy. And sunlight? Hell, you can stand around in the sun all day without any risk at all! Skin cancer? Oh, that's just being hyped by environmentalists and liberal politicians as a campaign issue!

This goes beyond "protecting one's own assets." This goes straight into craven manipulation of Lex Luthor proportions.


Down The Memory Hole

A lawsuit against the US government by Khalel el-Masri, a German citizen who was allegedly kidnapped by the CIA and tortured in Afghanistan, has been dismissed. Why? Well, it certainly isn't because his claims might be bullshit; the judge made that clear.

No, it's because "private interests must give way to the national interest in protecting state secrets."

We're being spied on by our government. Our president has the convenient ability to avoid laws without openly challenging them. People can't seek restitution in court because what happened to them, shitty and horrible as it may be, cannot risk being discussed openly.

Y'know, if we keep fighting for America this way, we might turn around one day and find that it no longer exists.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


If I Only Had A Heart

This is the new politics. No weakness must be left unexploited.

We're talking the campaign mailer in which GOP candidate Bill Conrad attacks opponent Tom Berryhill -- for having a heart transplant.

The headline of the direct mail piece -- in blood red ink, no less: "Tom Berryhill doesn't have the HEART for State Assembly."

That's accompanied by a handy list of "Heart Transplant Facts."

Among them:

*"The Average Lifespan of a Heart Transplant recipient is 7 years," followed by the none-too-subtle observation that "Berryhill's transplant was 6 years ago."

*"Heart Transplant patients take Anti-rejection medications for life. (These medications weaken the immune system making the recipient more susceptible to illness and death.)"

And finally:

*"Severe stress SIGNIFICANTLY shortens the life expectancy of Heart Transplant recipients."

And we all know about stress in Sacramento.

So, how long do you think it will be until history repeats itself and someone kills Rachel Jackson again?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Build Up This Wall

Well, I'm glad to know that the US government is taking the same steps as East Berlin to take care of the immigration problem.

To borrow a quote from someone much wittier on this whole mess, "They might as well be honest and melt down the Statue of Liberty for the materials."

Monday, May 15, 2006


On Second Thought, Maybe We Should Just Let Them Shoot Our Country In The Foot

This may be, without a doubt, the most spineless, simpering piece of policy I have seen adopt the title of "opinion" ever. According to Adam Nagourney, what with Bush and his lackeys screwing this great nation six ways from Sunday, maybe it would be better if the Dems didn't actively try to win the 2006 elections. Because, y'know, cleaning up this country would be hard work.

I have a newsflash for you, Adam: they're politicans. This is what they're supposed to do. They are supposed to take the reins of this nation, do what needs doing, and clean up the garbage. They may get a kiss, they may get a kick in the nuts. It doesn't matter, because they've fixed it all up, and that's what matters.

At least, that's how it's supposed to work. In the time between the Founding Fathers and Dubya, something got lost in the translation. Now, most politicians view their job as a way to bleed money out of lobbyists, corporations, taxpayers, foreign markets, anyone. Sure, they'll throw a bone every once in a while in a piece of legislation obviously meant to play to a constituency, but for the most part, they're there to vacuum up money and power.

Fuck that. Kick all the bastards out. Send the new crowd to Congress with copies of Thomas Paine's Common Sense and the Declaration of Independence. Show them that their duty is to the people, not to the pocket book. And give the lazy do-nothing like Adam Nagourney an extra round of spankings.

UPDATE: Is this POS really Nagourney's blog? I swear, I haven't seen such a mangled and outright hostile attempt to get the message across since Uwe Boll's memos to his screenwriter.


The Daily Propaganda

ABC has reported that a senior federal source has told them that the government is keeping taps on their sources, as well as the New York Times and the Washington Post, in an effort to root out anyone who might speak out about the Bush Administration's latest fuckup.

So, little doggy, are you gonna bark, or are you gonna bite?

Saturday, May 13, 2006


Spit 'Em Out, Ladies! Stop The Burrito Baby Menace!

Okay, on second thought, fuck it. Ann Coulter is among her people.

So, according to John Gibson, if we don't pump out more white babies, then America will face the horrible future of being... mostly Hispanic. I fail to see how this is a potential fate worse than death. Of course, I haven't bought into the immigration frenzy with such fervor that every waving of a Mexican flag looks like part of a conspiracy to take over Santa Fe.

So, this is the modern face of conservative punditry- calls to violence and thinly-veiled racism. Joy.

Friday, May 12, 2006


Mitt: "Ew, Gay Cooties!"

This pandering fucknut can't get out of my state fast enough.

Angered that his name appeared on a press release touting a gay pride parade, Governor Mitt Romney moved yesterday to curtail the activities of a 14-year-old advisory commission on gay and lesbian youth.

Yeah, apparently Mitt was going to scrap the Governor's Commission all together in favor of a commission that focused on "all of the state's youth," but the firestorm led him to cut down on the gutting. Interestingly enough, the Governor's Commission was founded by William Weld, a Republican who knew the right way to handle gay and lesbian matters.

I met my first boyfriend at a dance held by the Governor's Commission. I haven't been involved in it much, but they've done great things for gay and lesbian kids in Massachusetts for the past 14 years. And Mitt wanted to send it down the crapper all because the head of the Article 8 Alliance cried wolf about it, like he probably has for the past 14 years of its existence.

That Mitt. There's no one he won't screw and no one else he won't blow for a vote and some cash.


Ha Ha! It's Funny Because He's Having His Dignity Taken Away!

A bunch of students at an Alabama high school thought it would be high-larious if they grievously embarrassed a homeless vet with mental illness during lunch. Needless to say, many of the students involved have gotten a slap on the wrist, and still don't understand why what they did was wrong.

At least one of these kids can look forward to a great future as a serial killer.


"How Was I Supposed To Know There Was Some Guy Named Joe Vigilante?"

Not two weeks ago, I blogged about a visit to a college campus for a speech by Ann Coulter that featured, among other things, the conservative pundit attempting to incite people to violence against protesters. Since the account came from a college student, and not from any formal news source, I wondered how authentic it really was.

Well, no more. I got the crazy right from the horse's mouth:

Why hasn't the former spokesman for the Taliban matriculating at Yale been beaten even more senseless than he already is? According to Hollywood, this nation is a cauldron of ethnic hatreds positively brimming with violent skinheads. Where are the skinheads when you need them? What does a girl have to do to get an angry, club- and torch-wielding mob on its feet?

This is not some isolated blogger, or some nut job wanking off to Holocaust fantasies on the Stormfront message boards. This is a woman who is treated with respect among the ranks of conservative punditry. She is paid good amounts of money for weekly columns, books, and appearances on cable talk shows.

And she is talking, at least half-seriously, about summoning racist thugs for the purpose of doling out violence against those who displease her.

This is the deciding point. As Dave Neiwert points out, Ann "has a predilection for seeing her 'outrageous' remarks become standard right-wing talking points." Even her most toxic statements ("ragheads," anyone?) have a tendency to be downplayed by her fellow talking heads. If the conservative intelligensia does not wise up and kick Ann out on her bony ass, then they effectively condone the use of politically-motivated vigilante violence.

We're just going to have to see how it goes.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


The Snake Eats Itself

The NSA has stopped a Justice Department probe into the illegal wiretap program from investigating the illegal wiretap program, refusing to grant the investigators the security clearance necessary to look into it.

Strangely enough, the first thing that comes to my mind is the Saturday Night Massacre. Nixon didn't like how Archibald Cox was handling the Watergate investigation (mainly because his ass was in danger of being thrown in a lobster pot), so he canned Cox and forced the resignation of his superiors, which basically sealed his fate.

Here's to hoping...


Hey, Let's See How Far I Can Bend Over!

I am getting very fucking sick of the DNC. Let's look at the list of problems here, shall we?

1. Howard Dean goes on The 700 Club in an effort to pander to Pat Robertson and his followers, all of whom believe that contemporary liberalism will do to them what matter does to antimatter.
2. Howard Dean tells them that the Democratic Party platform speaks of marriage being between a man and a woman.
3. Howard Dean deliberately misrepresents the Democratic Party platform by putting forth this little canard.

Of course, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force hit the DNC where it hurts by returning a $5000 donation from Dean, and Dean quickly issued an apology. Still, this is the kind of shit that makes me angry. The DNC is treating us like a football, only bringing us up and reassuring us how much they love us only when they need the money and the votes.

I'm tired of this. If the Democratic Party wants my vote next time around, they have to assure me that they're working for me because they care about me as a person. Not because they care about me as a voter.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Mary Cheney's Walk-In Closet

Comfortable on top of that pedestal, Mary?

But Cheney saves her harshest words for Bush's 2004 opponents, calling Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry a "son of a bitch'' and his running mate, John Edwards, a "total slime'' for discussing her sexual orientation during nationally televised debates during the campaign.

Now, to be fair, apparently she has been pissed off at people like Alan Keyes and Dubya for playing ping-pong with her sexuality. The question is, to what degree:

In her interview with Diane Sawyer, Cheney said of Bush: "I think he's a very good man On these issues, he hasn't caught up.''

So, Bush and the people surrounding him are fundamentally good, despite the fact that:

-he has made numerous speeches about how marriage between a man and a woman is the only way, and how there should really be an amendment saying as much;

-Dick Cheney, Mary's own father, has expressed political support for the woman who authored said constitutional amendment;

-the Republican National Committee, the very body that props up said President, has used gay marriage as a scare tactic.

But when John Kerry and John Edwards point out the absolute hypocrisy of this all, then they're the scum. When Daddy and his friends put out the bigotry in the first place, then it's... what? Merely detestable? Quaint, even?

I'm sorry, Mary. You want to play this game, you take out the big bastards first. You take out the people who are playing with your rights like they're a football in the hands of Lucy van Pelt, not the Charlie Browns who are trying to hit it where it's needed. Welcome to the community, but you've got a shitload to learn.


Cutting the Pursestrings

Is there any part of the Bush administration that is not corrupt to its very core? Alphonso Jackson, Secretary of HUD, openly admitted that he didn't give a contract to a company because the head admitted he didn't like Bush. Even worse, he puts it in the form of a cautionary tale, as if to say, "Keep your mouth shut if you want the money to keep coming."

Of course, he's since realized that what he did was fucking stupid, and is trying to dismiss the story as "anecdotal." Too late, Jackson. Even if it never happened, it shows that such a mindset exists in our current government, and needs to be taken out back and shot.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


After the Presentation, There Will Be Naptime, Complete With Milk and Cookies

Via Amanda at Pandagon, I give you the Bush administration's view of common workers: young children with developmental disabilities.

Look at those photos. I may read the Darwin Awards, but it's with the understanding that the authors, like me, realize that this is absolutely stupid shit, and are wondering just what improper upbringing led to people trying to pull it off. It is not with the implication that the author honestly thinks that I am the kind of person who would try to have sex in a car while it's still running in a garage, and is warning me off.

The childrens' drawings just add insult to... well, greater insult. "See? These five-year-olds know not to do this shit! You must just be stupid!"

The entire presentation has one central message: you fuck up, it's your fault. It doesn't matter if your boss doesn't provide the proper instruction for the more complex parts of your job. Instead, you must have messed up on some tiny thing that any person with two brain cells to rub together will tell you is a bad idea, so we're going to lecture you about that.

Now that's stupid.

Monday, May 08, 2006


Stop Hitting Yourself! Stop Hitting Yourself!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it's that time again. Time to play "Goofus and Gallant" with the Democratic Party.

Today's entry:

Legislation that would have included crimes against gays and lesbians in federal hate crime laws has been dropped in the Senate.

Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass) has been trying to get the measure passed since 1999. This session he tacked it onto a national sex offender bill.

The sex offender registry bill has been tied up in the Senate for months as Kennedy fought to have the hate crime provision passed.

Late last week he pulled the amendment allowing the sex offender bill to pass unanimously after Republicans threatened to block passage of the sex offender legislation pin the blame on "liberal Democrats" and gay activists.

See that right there? That's the "Goofus" entry.

The "Gallant" entry would be: Kennedy says damn the torpedoes and keeps the legislation in. The registry gets shot down. The right-wing noise machine moves to paint the Democrats and gay activists as kiddie-toucher enablers... but get blocked out by a well-rounded descent of Democratic senators, representatives, and pundits upon news services, demanding that America ask why Republican senators are so afraid of making sure that gay people don't have the shit beat out of them, that they are willing to endanger America's children.

Now that's politics. If only someone in the DNC knew how to play at it.

Sunday, May 07, 2006


One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Well, people of America, we should feel glad knowing that our scant approval of Bush, the approval that has allowed him to keep office and fuck us over for another four years, ranks somewhere in his memory book below a fucking perch:

"You know, I've experienced many great moments and it's hard to name the best," Bush told weekly Bild am Sonntag when asked about his high point since becoming president in January 2001.

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound (3.402 kilos) perch in my lake," he told the newspaper in an interview published on Sunday.

The "liberation" of Iraq. Victories in both the 2000 and 2004 elections. Reformatting the tax code to "better" the American people. And he thinks the best thing to happen to him was a fucking fish?

Of course, his worst moment was 9/11. Then again, I guess he can't very well say, "The day I stubbed my toe," can he?

Saturday, May 06, 2006


A Few Floating Blow-Up Dolls, And We Have the Set Up For A Rapture Joke

Can someone tell me how this is not idolatry?

Oh, right. Because it's Jesus, and not some brown person's idol.


Power Tastes Like Ice Cream

Hilary to run as "family values" candidate. Mind you, this is NewsMax, which I wouldn't trust if they told me the sky was blue and arsenic was bad for my health. And this could be some attempt by Hilary to reclaim the term "family values" from people who use it to imply, "Having your conceptions of the world challenged is bad."

Then again, after all the political fancydancing she's done over the past few years, I'm not holding out a lot of hope.


Spy Hard

I haven't really talked much about the fact that Porter Goss has stepped down. And according to that article in the Post, it's because he didn't know his ass from his elbow.

All I can say is: about fucking time. I've been ready for this tool to be knocked down ever since he said he knew where bin Laden was but couldn't do anything about it. The purging of liberals and secret prisons are just poison icing on a stale cake.

Question is, who's Bush bringing in next, and can he possibly fuck things up more than before? The article hints at John Negroponte, who at least has some idea of what the CIA is supposed to do. Let's see if he can pull it off.

Friday, May 05, 2006


Hot Beef Injections

I see a lot now that I don't have classes. Yesterday, one of the things I saw was a commercial for Burger King. In said commercial, a man bursts into song while seated at lunch with his girl, singing, "I am man, hear me roar," which quickly turned into an entreaty towards the pure masculinity of BK's latest artery clogger. As a gathering army of men sang the praises of unbridled grease and meat and decried the eggy oppression of quiche, the symbols of masculinity gathered around them: the destruction of minivans, men pulling trucks with their bodies alone, and beautiful women in skimpy clothes holding burgers on platters. Shakes goes into this in detail.

I couldn't help but think back to those ads for Hungry Man dinners a few years back, the ones that featured men who ate "light" being blown away by a stiff breeze. These ads eventually reached their apotheosis by boasting about how the meals offered one pound of food. No health information, no talk about whether the food was tasty. Nope, just the fact that it was one pound of food.

This is why no one takes health seriously in this country. This is why, despite all the talk about nutrition and healthy eating, I could still get a burger and fries for less than a salad at my high school. It's because people believe that they will be ridiculed for being healthy. American culture has devised this idea that it is "unmanly" (and if it's unmanly to balloon up to 300 pounds and have a coronary, then by all means, cut off my tallywhacker) to diet, and advertisers are latching onto it and flogging it like a lame horse. It's enabling a gradual personal destruction and making ready use of culturally-engrained sexism at once! Hooray!

You wanna know what strength is when it comes to a diet? Not what "maleness" is, and not what "masculinity" is, but what "strength" is. Strength is keeping your body healthy-- indulging every once in a while, hell, indulging as often as you want, but while knowing that what you are doing is not healthy, and that you can take steps to correct it through eating right and exercising a bit.

It's not bolting down mass-produced beef because you're afraid you have a tiny penis.

Thursday, May 04, 2006


Why Does the Kids WB Hate America?

And a small earthquake is created by Hanna and Barbera spinning in their graves.

In the new cartoon, Shaggy and Scooby live in the 'bling'd-out mansion' (The WB's words, not mine) of Shaggy's Uncle Albert. They still have the Mystery Machine, but it can now transform into one of a number of transportation modes. Scooby Snacks are still available, but they are now infused with nano-technology that allows Scooby to fly or turn into a giant robot. Their mission is to keep the Scooby Snacks away from those who would use them for evil.

Insert joke about how at least Scrappy-Doo isn't showing up here.

What kind of drugs do they make in Hollywood, and what do I have to do to procure them?


So, That's What My Bed Feels Like

Well, I got home from Emerson yesterday. Freshman year is over, and now I look forward to a summer of playing World of Warcraft- I mean, ardently looking for employment and working on scripts.

At least I've gotten the job search started. With nine applications already, I've got to get something... right?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


Let God Sort Them Out. We Have Him In Our Back Pocket, Right?

Established conservative author and carpet bombing fan Shelby Steele has written an editorial for the Wall Street Journal arguing that we've been big pussies ever since we realized that people with darker skin tones have souls, and thus we need to start bombing everything that looks like the enemy.

Glenn Greenwald covers what many on the right-wing blogosphere are saying in response to it, notably to the tone of, "What's wrong with mass destruction in the name of a righteous cause?" Oh, and, "White supremacy had some good points."

You think I'm joking about that last one.

What is America to people like Steele? To them, America is not an ideology or a construct. It is not a body of ideas, many of them good at their core, which can nevertheless be used for ill purposes. To them, America is a destiny. It must be accomplished, no matter what means are necessary. So what if a few people get tortured? So what if some civilians get accidentally sprayed with white phosphorus? So what if we cover up the fact that some soldiers used the bodies of dead Iraqis as currency for porn?

So what if we kill 499,999 people so that we can save 500,001?

I accept that sometimes, the end justifies the means. But "the means" should never include the deliberate destruction of innocent life. That is not democracy. That is dictatorship.


You Have Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me

President Bush declares today Law Day 2006.

This year's Law Day theme, "Liberty Under Law: Separate Branches, Balanced Powers," honors the wisdom of the separation of powers that the Framers of our Constitution established for the Federal Government. Delegates to the Constitutional Convention recognized the risks that accompany the concentration of power and devised a system in which the Federal Government's authorities are divided among three independent branches. James Madison highlighted the importance of our Constitution's separation of powers when he wrote, "the accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands . . . may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny."

Yes, because we all know how much Bush has worked to uphold the system of checks and balances.

Does... does he even realize what he's doing? Does he have the faintest idea, even off in the farthest part of the back of his mind, that he is violating the Constitution through his little signing statements?

Of course he does. That's what makes this whole thing all the more sick.

Monday, May 01, 2006


Now Let Us Never Speak Of This Again

Well, I should have expected this. Stephen Colbert dragged the current administration, its leader, and the standards of the news media these days into the spotlight and beat them silly. He demonstrated just how they have all failed us. His most telling quote of the night was probably, "Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know, fiction."

So, of course, it's no surprise that Colbert is basically being ignored by the mainstream press in favor of gentler acts. Sure, they'll talk about excerpts of Colbert's act, but mostly the "harmless" parts ("Oh ho, does the government in Iraq suck!") and not the parts that had Bush and Laura looking like they'd just swallowed ipecac, likely thinking to themselves, "Have Sid Caesar killed."

Seriously, people. Colbert went into a place that everyone thoguht would be "safe"- the journalists, the politicos, Bush himself- and ripped them all new ones/. He told everyone what was wrong with America, when they'd expected cheap jokes. He had balls. And the only real place I've heard about this is from the blogosphere. Because the mainstream press is either so afraid to talk about just what Colbert said, or too proud to admit that they're still fucking this all up, and can't bring themselves to write, "Colbert owned us."

I'll agree, the press has roused itself. The wiretap scandal, the CIA prisons-- all these are signs of progress, of journalism doing what it's supposed to. But it's not going to stop there. There is discussion in the administration of prosecuting journalists as spies, bringing Bush's contempt of a free press out into the open for all to see. Bush is about to kick a sleeping dog. The question is, will it bark and bite, or will it whimper and go curl up in a corner?

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