Sunday, April 29, 2007


When Terrorism Isn't

A militia in Alabama was raided. Authorities there found 130 hand grenades and a rocket launcher. Obviously, this group wasn't planning on having a peaceful barbecue.

Strangely enough, though, despite an anti-government agenda (and perhaps some other less savory biases) and a large store of munitions, these people aren't being referred to as "alleged terrorists." Hell, look at when the article mentions Timothy McVeigh and Eric Rudolph. One of those men blew up a federal building as "retaliation" for Waco. The other detonated pipe bombs at the Olympics, gay bars, and abortion clinics to permeate an atmosphere of fear. But their acts aren't "terrorist" acts, they're "extreme" acts. Hell, terrorist charges were thrown around when three Muslim guys got caught with a lot of cell phones.

Somewhat more relevant, a bomb was found in an abortion clinic in Austin, Texas. While the FBI's terrorism department is investigating, the story has gotten fuck-all coverage. CNN's maybe aired a brief piece on it, and the articles from both the AP and Reuters are, well... tiny. It seems that when attempted terror doesn't seem Islamist in origin, it's not interesting.

Try and follow the abortion clinic story, as it develops. If any of the reporters explicitly refer to the bombing as an "attempted terrorist act" or something along those lines, without quoting someone else, I'll be pleasantly surprised. If not... well, I guess that tells you what we consider terrorism to be nowadays.

Thursday, April 26, 2007


Worms and Dirt

And now, tonight's episode of Cold Case, with the character of Detective Lily Rush replaced with Lt. Col Ralph Kauzlarich.

WELL-MEANING RELATIVE: When my mother died, we thought it was a suicide. But I was twelve at the time, and I just went along with what my dad told me. When I look back, it doesn't seem to make sense. I was wondering if-

KAUZLARICH: This is because you're an atheist, isn't it?

WELL-MEANING RELATIVE: ...I beg your pardon?

KAUZLARICH: Look, for your mother to die, and for you to think she's no more-- that she's just worm dirt-- that's pretty hard to get your head around. That's why you must be so upset.

WELL-MEANING RELATIVE: Are you fucking kidding me? I'm angry because I don't know how my mother died!

KAUZLARICH: Hey, it can't bring your mother back. It's not my fault you just want someone's head on a platter.

[The WELL-MEANING RELATIVE knocks KAUZLARICH down and starts beating him to death with her chair. The VICTIM'S APPARITION, who usually does not show up until the Closing Montage With Moving Period-Appropriate Music, joins in by holding Kauzlarich down while her daughter kicks him in the nuts.]

And on a more serious note... wow. I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect blend of sanctimony, religious bigotry, and head-in-the-sand denial tactics. I'm guessing folks like Kauzlarich are pretty much the reason why the Tillmans want someone's head on a platter.


My Heart Bleeds For You

Laura Bush: "Believe me, no one suffers more than [the US] president and I do when we watch this." Keep in mind that she's talking about the War in Iraq there.

Fuck this. I'm storming the Bastilles.

Monday, April 23, 2007


A Hit! A Very Palpable Hit!

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

COPPERAS COVE – History will be made today when Copperas Cove resident Bill Thomas and his wife, Georgia, present President George W. Bush with a Purple Heart at the Oval Office.

Thomas said he and his wife came up with the unprecedented idea to present the president with the Purple Heart over breakfast one morning a few months ago as they discussed the verbal attacks, both foreign and domestic, the commander in chief has withstood during his time in office.

"We feel like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds," Thomas said.

Now, this isn't official, of course. It's an act from an individual who once served in the military, expressing a private belief. Still. I don't think I can even count the number of ways this spectacle shits all over national decorum.

A man who spent his entire military career sitting his ass down in Alabama is being handed an award typically associated with being wounded in combat. As he receives this award, he refuses to do anything about the clusterfuck that is the War in Iraq, troops have had their tours of duty
extended from twelve to fifteen months, wounded soldiers have been denied basic medical services for months, if not years, and the hellhole that was Walter Reed has been handed over to people who still refuse to admit that it was all their fault.

Furthermore, if Mr. Thomas is instituting this policy, perhaps he should give a Purple Heart to Bill Clinton, too. I mean, hey, the man's been fraudulently accused of everything from real estate fraud to spousal rape to aiding his wife in covering up a man's murder. Or did 9/11 just change everything?

Someone deserves restitution for the wounds caused to America. But it sure as hell isn't George Bush.


So It Goes

I'd just like to break my brief finals-related moratorium from blogging to draw attention to this wet load. That's right, folks; Kurt Vonnegut, one of the greatest authors of the 20th century, was "irrelevant" and "scatological", because FOX News wills it.

Speaking of which, did you see what they did in the first thirty seconds? Apparently, Kurt Vonnegut was just too lewd and vulgar for such a thing as a proper, stately obituary (though apparently, he was good enough to have Rupert Murdoch shit in his grave). I know this is becoming a constant mantra around this joint, but John Rogers already beat this topic into the ground. In the minds of the media elite, if you swear, you're vulgar. If you're vulgar, you're unhinged. If you're unhinged, then you aren't allowed to speak opposite that nice, proper woman who suggests internment camps for Muslims.

This is why, in one hundred years, we will still be reading Vonnegut's works, and FOX News will be regarded with as much shame as David Hasselhoff music videos.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007



I'm still trying to put together the whole Virginia Tech incident. It's just so horrible. I hope that we can treat this incident with a right measure of respect, and aid the families in healing.

Speaking of which... shut your fucking mouth, Jack Thompson. You shut right the fuck up. You can't even wait for the bodies to be cool to just wade right in and start flogging your pet issue. We didn't even know who the fuck Cho Seung-hui was when you went on and said that somehow, video games were responsible for this. Hey, now that we've found out a little bit more about this case, why don't we blame the theater for this one?

I'm guessing this isn't the only pet issue that's going to be flogged by the time this week's through.

Monday, April 16, 2007


Die, Homework, Die!

Right. I probably should've commented by now about the White House's many e-mails on the prosecutorial firings going into the digital equivalent of the paper shredder.

Or I should celebrate Don Imus getting shitcanned, with the vainglorious hope that this will lead to a cleanup in broadcasting standards (are you listening, Glenn "Those Uppity Blind People!" Beck?).

But I'm not. Because finals work is currently beating me about the head. So, I have very little time to post.

Uh... see you soon, I hope.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Oh, Ho, You Racist Rascal!

So, in case you've been living under a rock these past few days, Don Imus, professional crank, got in trouble for calling the Rutgers female basketball team a bunch of "nappy-headed hos." Of course, what looks like trouble to you and me doesn't look like trouble to his entrenched journalista buddies. Tom Oliphant, Howard Fineman, and others have heard this man use unvarnished racism, and they have said, "Oh, Don, you scamp!"

As John points out, Imus's schtick isn't exactly new. This has been going on for as long as Imus has been working (hell, the things he's said about Arabs would have Ann Coulter moaning orgasmically, and I am truly sorry for that mental image). And when it comes to the surface, Imus get a slap on the wrist from one end of the journalistic spectrum, and a pat on the head from the other.

Can we please agree that there are some things that are just not acceptable in the public arena?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


In Case You Needed Any More Evidence...

...Uwe Boll is a fucking hack.

There's a difference between offensively funny humor and offensively stupid humor, and once again, Boll completely fails to recognize the divide. Thank God this man's life blood got cut off before he could do anything even more mindrapingly stupid than this film.

Friday, April 06, 2007


The Point of No Return

Ann Coulter at CPAC 2008

Congratulations, Ann Coulter! Today must be a very special day for you! I know it must have been hard disguising yourself in human form for the past 50-somewhat years or so, but today, you show them all. Today, you open your mouth to screech, your meat sack tears asunder, and you reveal yourself as the foul hellgod you really are:

"These people can't even wrap up genocide," Coulter writes. "We've been hearing about this slaughter in Darfur forever -- and they still haven't finished. The aggressors are moving like termites across that country. It's like genocide by committee. Who's running this holocaust in Darfur, FEMA?"

Doesn't it feel so good to reveal that you have absolutely no empathy whatsoever?

Thursday, April 05, 2007


Falling Upwards

Jesus Christ, no one got smoked for the political Sodom and Gomorrah that was the Nixon administration, did they? Tricky Dick himself retired and got a statesman's funeral. G. Gordon Liddy gets a talk show. Chuck Colson gets held up on conservative websites as a model Christian.

Now it turns out that John McCain has hired Fred Malek, who had a very special job in the Nixon Administration. That job? "Jew Counter." No, seriously. Nixon believed there was a Jewish cabal working against him, and he hired Malek to find out how many Jews worked in the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

What does it take to attain political radioactivity in this country?

Monday, April 02, 2007


Follow Dear Leader

The next election is going to be incredibly crucial. Why? Because it's not just going to be about tossing Bush out of office. Right now, it's shaping up to be a battle for the very soul of our nation.

Am I being melodramatic? Maybe. But I'd like you to hear what Romney and Giuliani had to say at a recent Club for Growth meeting:

Crane asked if Romney believed the president should have the authority to arrest U.S. citizens with no review. Romney said he would want to hear the pros and cons from smart lawyers before he made up his mind. Crane said that he had asked Giuliani the same question a few weeks ago. The mayor said that he would want to use this authority infrequently.

Habeas corpus exists in our Constitution for a very good reason. It's there because it ensures that we do not become tyrants. It ensures that we do not fall to the same base autocracy that made our Founding Fathers run the hell away from England in the first place. It's there to make sure that every citizen of the US gets treated fairly and evenly when the possibility occurs that they might be stripped of their freedoms.

And what can Romney and Giuliani tell us about their efforts to respect this part of the Constitution? Well, Giuliani tells us he won't try to break it so much, and Romney says he'll have to find out whether or not he can get away with it before talking to us.

It's not going to end with Bush. This ugly battle we're currently in, one for the very principles upon which our country was founded, is going to continue for years. Bush's administration was just the perfect storm, an environment where these principles could be put into action and flourish unchallenged, if only for a short while. The only way we can win is by showing those who would spit on the Constitution that we will not put up with their bullshit.

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