Friday, January 14, 2005


Can Wooden Objects Even Have Sexual Orientations?

Six little words that killed a show dead:

"Is this because I'm a lesbian?"

Those were the words that ended Elisabeth Rohm's tenure as ADA and malfunctioning android Serena Southerlyn on Law and Order, and also ended my interest in whatever future roads the show might take.

I knew, of course, that the show was slipping. After all, Dick Wolf has had a tendency lately not just to rip a plot from the headlines, but mold it into a hammer and beat you over the head with it until you lose consciousness (case in point, the season premiere, "Panties for Abu Ghraib"- I mean, "Paradigm"). And the loss of Jerry Orbach (from the show) was of course a grevious blow.

But for god's sake, they're not even trying anymore. The little development that Serena happened to really, really like women came 15 seconds from the end of the episode, and lacked any prior evidence or hints to make it look like something other than the result of one too many tokes. And next week's episode description doesn't fill me with hope. Death by flu vaccine? Bitch, please.

In short, goodbye, Dick Wolf. Let's try and remember the good times: the times of Briscoe, solid plots, and ADAs that could actually emote.

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