Thursday, January 20, 2005


Who Lives in a Closet Under the Sea?

"SpongeBog QueerPants is more like it!", screams James Dobson like a madman.

Does no one on the religious right pay attention? Or were their heads all conveniently placed under rocks when Jerry Falwell became a laughingstock for calling Tinky Winky gay?

One--Sponges reproduce asexually.

Two--Leaving out the fact that the assertion is completely ludicrous, there aren't any other sponges in Bikini Bottom with whom Spongebob could even have sex.

Three--how do you put together a press release for this sort of thing without thinking about the taste of gunmetal in your mouth?
I think they think SpongeBob really, really likes Patrick. And just thinking about the possible fanfic that might emerge out of that situation makes me long for the taste of gunmetal myself.
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