Friday, April 29, 2005


"Cool, the Holy Land's Got Halo!"

Anyone who's spent a fair amount of time on my blog knows that I trust the ideas behind the evangelical Zionist movement as much as I trust Mary Mallon at a company barbecue. Sometimes, though, I have to wonder whether those who claim to stand for the best interest of the Jewish people are even trying to appear concerned for them.

Think about it; William Donohue goes on Scarborough Country and blames the "secular Jews" who "control" Hollywood for why movies "don't reflect American values." Tony Perkins pays the most virulently anti-Semitic politician this side of Lyndon LaRouche a cool $82K for his mailing list. Oh, and then there's that whole matter of, "Yeah, we like you, but when the end comes, 2/3s of you get the slow roast."

It's like... it's like Israel is the kid who's unpopular in elementary school, because of a weight problem or a social problem or something like that. One day, however, he becomes the first kid on his block with an XBox. Soon, one of the cool kids comes over every day, acting like a friend. But he's only there for the XBox. He doesn't care about the unpopular kid, but the sweet gaming goodness. Someday, the kid will sell the XBox, and the cool kid will just abandon him, going off to seek vicarious gaming thrills from another "friend."

How would I know all this? Because, when I was young, I was the cool kid. Okay, maybe I wasn't cool, but my friendships were based entirely on the other kid's toys. I didn't care about them, or their feelings, just their hardware.

It's wrong when an elementary school kid does it. But when adults do it, especially adults who claim to hold themselves to a higher standard, it's just atrocious.

You just kill me. This is hilarious! Why aren't you president? Or at least on HBO? Does Bill Maher know about you?
Justin, you crack me the fuck up.

Aw, thanks. And if Bill Maher knew about me, he'd run screaming for his life.
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