Thursday, April 28, 2005


Those Things That You're Liable to Read in the Bible...

Dear Gerald Allen:

I understand that you're still keeping up the fight to protect kids everywhere from the horrors of gay authors. After all, what are some of the most moving works in Western literature, such as The Color Purple and A Streetcar Named Desire, compared to preventing children from learning about that dirty dirty gay sex?

Still, Mr. Allen, I'm surprised you're keeping up the fight when the Bible itself would be banned under the system. That's right, Mr. Allen; the Bible has positive instances of hot man-on-man action. When it says "David loved Jonathan", it means it; there's nudity, cuddling, and that unmanly crying stuff.

So, Mr. Allen, I salute you, for going above your personal religious beliefs just to protect us from those icky people who want nothing more than complete equality.

Mr. Cognito,

I'm so glad I found your blog. Your titles rule and your rants are to the point. You are an absolute riot, dear.

And, while we're on the subject of the bible, which in my opinion is the gayest book ever writ, I believe the alledged passage oft quoted by homophobic xtians says that it's an abomination for a man to lie with another man. The part of that edict that never made it into the canon suggested a variety of standing, kneeling, and wild karma sutra type positions better suited for manly lovin'.
I told ya. The bible--a lover's guide to Jugayism. Truly and verily.

Fake kisses,

Thanks, Cindy. Mind you, none of these people who quote Leviticus ever devote themselves fully to the cause of banning Red Lobster or crop rotation. I wonder why.
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