Friday, July 22, 2005
Attack of the 50-Foot Size 10s
Apparently, women with curves are out to deprive Richard Roeper of his God-given right to a boner, or somewhat.
Now, I'll admit it; I'm a gay man, so I'm not in this ad's target audience. And when I fantasize about the perfect man, I think of... well, I'd rather not go into it here, but I doubt the average man looks like that. But I also find average guys pretty attractive, too: the guys who are a bit skinny, or have some pudge on them. And what Roeper says is really amazing for its brazen "whatever"ness:
Now here's where I'm supposed to say that I find it refreshing to see "real people" on billboards, given that our culture is so obsessed with youth and beauty, and that most billboards feature impossibly gorgeous, ridiculously thin women who have been airbrushed to a level of perfection that 99.9 percent of the population can never reach.
But the raw truth is, I find these Dove ads a little unsettling. If I want to see plump gals baring too much skin, I'll go to Taste of Chicago, OK? I'll walk down Michigan Avenue or go to Navy Pier. When we're talking women in their underwear on billboards outside my living room windows, give me the fantasy babes, please.
"Yeah, I know, our culture is one of women being led like a donkey with a Twinkie-on-a-stick towards some standard of beauty that is well-nigh impossible to obtain, and that women with extra poundage are treated like freaks by the media- but who cares? I want all Kate Moss, all the time!"
Remember, average women; every time you flaunt it, L'il Roeper goes flat. Isn't that more than enough incentive to be visible?
Now, I'll admit it; I'm a gay man, so I'm not in this ad's target audience. And when I fantasize about the perfect man, I think of... well, I'd rather not go into it here, but I doubt the average man looks like that. But I also find average guys pretty attractive, too: the guys who are a bit skinny, or have some pudge on them. And what Roeper says is really amazing for its brazen "whatever"ness:
Now here's where I'm supposed to say that I find it refreshing to see "real people" on billboards, given that our culture is so obsessed with youth and beauty, and that most billboards feature impossibly gorgeous, ridiculously thin women who have been airbrushed to a level of perfection that 99.9 percent of the population can never reach.
But the raw truth is, I find these Dove ads a little unsettling. If I want to see plump gals baring too much skin, I'll go to Taste of Chicago, OK? I'll walk down Michigan Avenue or go to Navy Pier. When we're talking women in their underwear on billboards outside my living room windows, give me the fantasy babes, please.
"Yeah, I know, our culture is one of women being led like a donkey with a Twinkie-on-a-stick towards some standard of beauty that is well-nigh impossible to obtain, and that women with extra poundage are treated like freaks by the media- but who cares? I want all Kate Moss, all the time!"
Remember, average women; every time you flaunt it, L'il Roeper goes flat. Isn't that more than enough incentive to be visible?
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Thank you, my friend; that image has proven, once and for all, that I feel zero attraction towards women.
But, yeah. Even if I did swing that way, I wouldn't see the problem at all. Someone needs to subject Roeper to Ludovico's Technique while "Fat-Bottomed Girls" plays in the background.
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But, yeah. Even if I did swing that way, I wouldn't see the problem at all. Someone needs to subject Roeper to Ludovico's Technique while "Fat-Bottomed Girls" plays in the background.
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