Friday, July 29, 2005

 

Manhoes for Bush

Y'know, I was thinking; it's been about five months since we found out that Jeff Gannon was a whore, and in more ways than one. And I thought: amongst the approximately five hundred scandals that have failed to result in anything at the White House, what made this one so important?

Well, at the very least, it's that a man was being paid by a GOP analyst to go to White House press conferences and give Scott McClellan a blowjob (metaphorically, of course, though one never knows) while talking shit about liberals. And at the very most, it's that a man with what is technically a criminal past*- that was found out by a man with nothing more than a computer and a credit card- managed to obtain a hard press pass and insider info, meaning that either a) someone at the White House was very, very lazy, or b) someone at the White House owned Jeffy-poo a little favor.

Of course, as with every scandal that the Bush White House stirs up, it seems to have vanished into the ether. But wait, is that... a sign of life? Why, yes, it's an editorial in the Southern Voice! Oh, Jeff; how can we miss you if you won't go away?

Putting aside the fact that a man with a... "questionable" history of public views on gay issues has been granted an editorial in Atlanta's major GLBT newspaper, the article is basically the story of Gannon's life: I was a man who was too stupid not to go back and delete websites from when I was a hooker before I went before the Bush White House tossing out baseless statements that embarrassed liberals, and some gay liberal bloggers outed me for this. For some reason, we are supposed to sympathize with him.

Oh, and there's an added bit about how bloggers like John Aravosis (who is five times the journalist that Gannon is) are offering aid to the enemy by questioning the Bush Administration's handling of Iraq. Yes, because during war, we must always obey our leader! The leader is always right, and you're a dirty commie for pointing out what he's screwing up! Thoughtcrimes! Thoughtcrimes!

Sigh. In conclusion, Jeff Gannon is just another reflection of how this administration has somehow avoided paying for its multitude of sins. Now if only he'd be quiet, and reflect on how his name could have been synonymous with Linda Tripp.

*I, of course, hold a libertarian view of the sex trade: as long as no one is doing it against their will, go for it. Still, as the books read nowadays, it's a criminal act, and one that should have set off alarms at the White House like a warehouse fire.

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