The Evil Petting Zoo

"Or, as I like to call it," to paraphrase Susan Douglas, "'Will This Writer Eat Shit?'" (SPOILERS for an upcoming Law and Order: Special Victims Unit episode lie ahead. Turn back if you think this show still has hope.)

As I've said a few times on this blog, I hope to be a screenwriter when I grow up. I've already been working in that direction, putting together a few spec scripts for TV shows. I'm lining up a spec for Supernatural, I've got a half-finished Cold Case spec currently chilling on my JumpDrive, and I've even got a finished one for Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

Now, I know L&O:SVU has had a drop in quality over the past few seasons that could be described as... precipitous. The loss of Stephanie March as ADA Alex Cabot, and her replacement by Casey "Lurchy McBadclothes" Novak. The Incredible Shrinking John Munch. A season-long arc involving Stabler's rage issues, which turned out to be rooted in a crushed diorama. Still, I thought my script might help things. It dealt with an important world issue that doesn't get much face time (the abuse of Untouchables in India), but in a manner that was neither exploitative or tacked on. It had minimal Casey, and a lot of interaction between the detectives. Best of all, it actually gave Munch screen time; hell, he was the focus of the episode.

Then I read the following spoiler. And now I know my time was probably better spent trying to put out the fires of Hell by spitting on them:

Description of the November 29th episode:

LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT -- (10-11 p.m.)

"Storm"

DETECTIVES PURSUE CHILD MOLESTER WHO KIDNAPPED ORPHANS FROM HURRICANE KATRINA -- AND DISCOVER MORE DANGEROUS THREAT -- Detectives Benson (Mariska Hargitay) and Stabler (Chris Meloni) aggressively pursue a child molester who kidnapped three young sisters from New Orleans after their parents were killed in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina -- but their efforts to secretly locate the third child are compromised by an ambitious reporter. However, a far greater problem looms as the New York cops butt heads with federal authorities after the suspect is discovered to have deadly anthrax that could result in a full-blown epidemic. Dann Florek, Ice-T, Richard Belzer, Diane Neal, B.D. Wong and Tamara Tunie also star.

Yup; a Katrina episode. Not four months after New Orleans got utterly devastated, and Dick Wolf decides the human diaspora would be a great subject for an episode of his show (and with an anthrax attack? Fucking awesome!). I know Dick Wolf has a tendency to fall upon real life tragedies like a vulture upon carrion, but when 9/11 happened, at least he waited nine months until touching it. This is just crass and manipulative.

There's a part of me that wants to hold out, to see if this show still has any vestige of its former self left. Then again, there's a stronger part of me that wants to print out my script, burn it, then delete the file.

Ah, well. As long as Cold Case doesn't do something with the bird flu this year, I think I still have a show I can work on while feeling clean.