Sunday, January 15, 2006
Faster Than Speeding Bullshit
Yes, I know this is relatively old news, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have the potential to send me into an utter ragegasm.
I have long known the potential for suck that the newest Superman movie could be. Hell, I'd read about the numerous atrocities in the J.J. Abrams script, and "tsk, tsk"ed along with almost the entire comics industry. But reading this informal history? Causes me actual physical pain.
Jon Peters wanted Superman to have bodyguards and called the red and blue suit "too faggy" (which is ironic, coming from the man who got his start in the business as Barbara Streisand's hairdresser boyfriend). Tim Burton wanted Superman to be relient of Kryptonian gadgetry, turning him into the Invincible, Diurnal Batman. A "Matrix-like" Supersuit. The constant turndown of screenwriters who actually, y'know, liked Superman. Gay robot sidekicks. Brainiac fighting polar bears.
What. In. The. Sweet. Scented. Fuck.
And people wonder why the movie industry is currently sucking wind.
I have long known the potential for suck that the newest Superman movie could be. Hell, I'd read about the numerous atrocities in the J.J. Abrams script, and "tsk, tsk"ed along with almost the entire comics industry. But reading this informal history? Causes me actual physical pain.
Jon Peters wanted Superman to have bodyguards and called the red and blue suit "too faggy" (which is ironic, coming from the man who got his start in the business as Barbara Streisand's hairdresser boyfriend). Tim Burton wanted Superman to be relient of Kryptonian gadgetry, turning him into the Invincible, Diurnal Batman. A "Matrix-like" Supersuit. The constant turndown of screenwriters who actually, y'know, liked Superman. Gay robot sidekicks. Brainiac fighting polar bears.
What. In. The. Sweet. Scented. Fuck.
And people wonder why the movie industry is currently sucking wind.
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I signed off on this thing when I heard they'd hired Brandon Routh in the title role. He was on One Life to Live, briefly, and was HORRIBLE. Pretty, yes, but HORRIBLE. And when they fired him, he posted this insane boo hoo "God will punish them" crap on his website. Bitch CRAZY. And a bad actor.
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