The Evil Petting Zoo

So, as of 5 PM last night, Mitt Romney ceased to be Governor of Massachusetts. Later today, Deval Patrick will take that honorable position, and hopefully treat it as something more than a stepping stone to further presidential success.

Speaking of Mitt's hopes for presidential success... seeing as this is a man who: routinely worked to oppose gay rights, to the point of selling out Massachusetts's gay youth, in order to earn the bigot vote; lied to the people of this state about his position on abortion, changing it when it was politically most convenient; and refused to stand up for his people, to the point of laughing at us and saying he'd have been better off in Michigan... well, I can't wait to see whose cock he'll suck and who he'll stab in the back for the presidency.

And as one last tribute to the man who would be Governor, here's a little song I "wrote"-- all right, adapted. Seeing as Jello Biafra's done at least four different versions of "California Uber Alles", all pertaining to a relevant governor of California, I thought it would be only appropriate to do one for Romney. I give you, "Massachusetts Uber Alles":

I am Governor Mitt Romney
Stunted clone of Uncle Ronnie
I want to be president

The Nazi vote is sure to pay
I’ll do anything you say
Once I’m in the thrall of you
I’ll wiretap the mosques and schools
And all the gay bars, too!

Massachusetts, uber alles
Massachusetts uber alles
Uber alles, Massachusetts
Uber alles Massachusetts

The LDS will control you
Making red your state of blue
You will pray towards the holy place
Washington with Bush’s face

Close your eyes, can’t happen here
Jerry Falwell is near
Bigotry won’t come back, you say
But in the media it’s on the way
Now on your knees or I’ll make you pray!

Massachusetts, uber alles
Massachusetts uber alles
Uber alles, Massachusetts
Uber alles Massachusetts

Now it is 2008
There’s a crowd forming at the gate
It’s God’s own secret police
They’ve come for your lesbo niece
Come now to Guantanamo Bay
We’ll make you think you’re not gay
Shocks, clamps, thumbscrews, and pain
If that won’t work, we’ll just do it again!

DIE!
Suicide, hate crime, who cares?
One less fag, that’s all that matters.
You’ll see no one’s truly free
When you mess with Governor Romney
When you mess with Governor Romney
When you mess with Governor Romney!

Massachusetts, uber alles
Massachusetts uber alles
Uber alles, Massachusetts
Uber alles Massachusetts

It's no "London Calling", but it'll do.