The Evil Petting Zoo

Hello! I'm glad you found this blog. I'm guessing that, if you've come to this post, it's because you've likely done a frantic Google search for the terms "John Doe Muslim WTF". This might be because you have received a card from one "John Doe", you are Muslim, and you are wondering, what the fuck.

Now, first of all, I just have to confirm something with you. Is this the text of the message you received?

Dear Muslim Terrorist Plotter/Planner/Funder/Enabler/Apologist,

You do not know me. But I am on the lookout for you. You are my enemy. And I am yours.

I am John Doe.

I am traveling on your plane. I am riding on your train. I am at your bus stop. I am on your street. I am in your subway car. I am on your lift.

I am your neighbor. I am your customer. I am your classmate. I am your boss.

I am John Doe.

I will never forget the example of the passengers of United Airlines Flight 93 who refused to sit back on 9/11 and let themselves be murdered in the name of Islam without a fight.

I will never forget the passengers and crew members who tackled al Qaeda shoe-bomber Richard Reid on American Airlines Flight 63 before he had a chance to blow up the plane over the Atlantic Ocean.

I will never forget the alertness of actor James Woods, who notified a stewardess that several Arab men sitting in his first-class cabin on an August 2001 flight were behaving strangely. The men turned out to be 9/11 hijackers on a test run.

I will act when homeland security officials ask me to “report suspicious activity.”

I will embrace my local police department’s admonition: “If you see something, say something.”

I am John Doe.

I will protest your Jew-hating, America-bashing “scholars.”

I will petition against your hate-mongering mosque leaders.

I will raise my voice against your subjugation of women and religious minorities.

I will challenge your attempts to indoctrinate my children in our schools.

I will combat your violent propaganda on the Internet.

I am John Doe.

I will support law enforcement initiatives to spy on your operatives, cut off your funding, and disrupt your murderous conspiracies.

I will oppose all attempts to undermine our borders and immigration laws.

I will resist the imposition of sharia principles and sharia law in my taxi cab, my restaurant, my community pool, the halls of Congress, our national monuments, the radio and television airwaves, and all public spaces.

I will not be censored in the name of tolerance.

I will not be cowed by your Beltway lobbying groups in moderate clothing. I will not cringe when you shriek about “profiling” or “Islamophobia.”

I will put my family’s safety above sensitivity. I will put my country above multiculturalism.

I will not submit to your will. I will not be intimidated.

I am John Doe.

Now, I'm not accusing you of perpretating any threat against America. In fact, the odds are, you haven't. The odds are, you are a normal, civil American citizen who just happens to be Muslim. Your imam teaches you to be nice to people, you're perfectly fine with women doing what they want, and you're very civil to Mr. Liebowitz down at the corner deli.

What likely happened, you see, is that someone noticed you living your life. And they noticed that you happen to be living your life while Muslim. So, they thought you were up to something fishy, and in the off chance, they sent you this card, anonymously. Now, unless they attached it to a brick-- which could always be a possibility-- I wouldn't suggest calling the police right away.

Why? Because people of this sort are scared. Especially Ms. Malkin up there. Oh, sure. She likes to write big fancy columns and go on television, talking about how not scared she is. But that is a blatant lie. Every time she sees someone like you, something goes off in her. She imagines another 9/11, all because she's seen you. You could be the Muslim equivalent of St. Francis of Assisi, and it is very likely that she might think that your sandals are made of plastique. It's not her fault, really.

...okay, yes, it totally is. She's spent the past five and a half years digging a nice little hole for herself, and it doesn't seem like she's coming out. Hell, I hear she's got it pleasantly furnished. As far as I can tell, she refuses to accept the idea that, out of a faith that contains billions, not every single one of them might be geared towards the utter annihilation of the America we know and love. Neither will the majority of her audience. So, she plays up the idea that you can be easily picked out of a crowd, labeled a terrorist, and shuttled off somewhere nice and secure so that she can go to bed at night without looking under the bed for jihadis.

Just keep telling yourself this, sir or madam: as long as cooler heads prevail, you will be safe. And yes, I believe that those in power know Michelle Malkin is insane. After all, we put her on television.

Thank you.

Hi, Phyllis Schlafly! I understand you've spent the past thirty years telling American women not to strive for everything that you ended up getting by marrying up. Still, I had to question at least one of your recent points:

At one point, Schlafly also contended that married women cannot be sexually assaulted by their husbands.

"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape," she said.

Now, let's just say that that loving husband of yours suffers a dire blow to the head, Phyllis. Let's say his personality radically changes. He becomes violent and abusive. He forces-- yes, forces-- you to have sex. Drags you screaming into the bedroom. Slaps you if you won't agree to it. Gets violent even if you do for "not doing it right." Now tell me, Phyllis, would you still say then that it isn't rape?

Oh. Wait. By actually leaving the house and having what could effectively be called a career, you've already proven you consider yourself different from all other women. The lack of cognitive dissonance is such a wonderful thing, isn't it?

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

The Marines are banning any new, extra-large tattoos below the elbow or the knee, saying such body art is harmful to the Corps' spit-and-polish image.

[snip]

"Some Marines have taken the liberty of tattooing themselves to a point that is contrary to our professional demeanor and the high standards America has come to expect from us," he said. "I believe tattoos of an excessive nature do not represent our traditional values."

Apparently, stuff like this-- or this-- or this-- leaves the military smelling like roses. It's the body art you really have to worry about.

Personally, I don't give a shit if the man who's willing to fight and die to protect his fellow countrymen wants to attached silicone-molded horns, a cybernetic arm, and a second penis. All that matters to me is that he upholds the values of this nation and protects his fellow man. After that, anything goes.

Well, this pretty much puts Vanilla Ice in perspective.

Y'know, it's interesting how much I've seen the White House Correspondents Association Dinner in the news these past few days. Especially since most of the mainstream media was pretty much trying to swerve around the elephant in the room. Then again, I guess that's how it goes.

And some days, you just don't know what the fuck to say.

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

I know there is something that I can do with this material, but the sheer wrongness of it is drowning it all out. So, I just leave it as is.

If we were to harness the raw power of Tom DeLay's ego, we could power the entire continental United States for a decade:

“I believe it was Adolf Hitler who first acknowledged that the big lie is more effective than the little lie, because the big lie is so audacious, such an astonishing immorality, that people have a hard time believing anyone would say it if it wasn’t true. You know, the big lie — like the Holocaust never happened or dark-skinned people are less intelligent than light-skinned people. Well, by charging this big lie” — that DeLay violated campaign-finance laws in Texas — “liberals have finally joined the ranks of scoundrels like Hitler.”

Kids, like they say on Sesame Street, one of these things is not like the other:

-Racism

-The Holocaust

-The idea that Tom Delay-- who has gone on record to state that his idyllic government is one that is heavily privatized for the benefit of the rich-- took a bit too much from private entities.

I'll let you guess which one. (Hint: it's the last one.)

So, Alberto Gonzales lied to the American people, again. Only this time, he did it under oath. Which means everything. Hopefully, Pelosi and the others will take this and run with it.

Meanwhile, Tony Snow pretty much admits that he and the rest of the White House either a) don't know about or b) don't care about how the Constitution is framed on a series of checks and balances between the three branches of government. Because in the new Washington, Congress cannot call the White House on the carpet. Amazing what the Administration can come up with, when they put their minds to it.

So long, Travaglini. May the door hit you firmly in the ass on your way out.

If you're wondering why I'm so happy, well, here's why:

Murray, who differed with Travaglini on gay marriage, declined to say whether she'd try to block a second vote on a proposed constitutional amendment outlawing same sex marriage in Massachusetts. Travaglini pushed for the amendment. Murray opposed it.

"I haven't even discussed that with myself," she said.

All right, all right, judging by the last round of self-serving, "Well, at least we put it up for a vote" backpats and blowjobs, that doesn't really mean much. Still. The main reason the anti-gay marriage amendment was actually voted for in the last go-around was because Travaglini forced the chamber to go into a vote as soon as they had convened, rather than allowing for debate on the issue.

We've got a fighting chance again. Let's not blow it.

Michael Savage went on his radio show yesterday and called a transgendered murder victim a psychopath and a freak. And yet-- stop me if you've heard this one-- Howard Stern gets driven away from terrestrial broadcasting for fart jokes.

If you're one of the programming directors who puts Michael Savage's show on the air, I want you to tell me: what are the quality differences between putting him and audio of a snarling hyena in your 6-7 AM slot?

This is the hallway of Building 40 at the Walter Reed Medical Center:



I've seen better caretaking in the Silent Hill games.

And this, for purposes of comparison, would be the VIP suite at Walter Reed:



So, who gets to stay in the VIP suite? Why, only the best, the most deserving...

[...]the president, the vice president, federal judges, members of Congress and the Cabinet, high-ranking military officials and even foreign dignitaries and their spouses. The only enlisted members of the military who are eligible to stay there are recipients of the Medal of Honor.

So while our injured soldiers make their way up and down halls that look like Leatherface and his family have set up shop, the people in power get to stay in a room with valuable antiques and a flatscreen TV. This is how those in charge "support the troops."

You may remember Rev. Ken Hutcherson. He's the Washington conservative preacher who was single-handedly responsible for getting Microsoft to effectively kill anti-discrimination legislation in that same state. Well, now Hutcherson's making trips overseas, with an extra special title:

Hutcherson’s supposed full title, which he claimed was bestowed upon him by the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, was: Special Envoy for Adoptions, Family Values, Religious Freedom, and Medical Relief.

Oh, and on his recent visit to Latvia, he brought along Scott Lively. Who's Scott Lively, you ask? Oh, just a charming man who believes that gays caused the Holocaust and we're a disease.

Of course, the White House is spinning like a top, claiming that Hutcherson is faking his status. Hutcherson, however, is claiming he has video evidence confirming his office, in which he appears with the director of the Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives on Latvian television.

So, either Hutcherson's lying, which is very much a federal crime, or the White House is lying, and they deliberately appointed an arch-homophobe to spread the "official" word of the White House who thinks it's good business to associate with a Holocaust revisionist. Whichever way this story goes, it's likely going to end with something exploding.

There's corruption in the White House. There's disgusting corruption in the White House. Then there's the absolutely blasphemous type of corruption that would make even Marie Antoinette's disembodied head go, "Bitch, please."

Dr. James Knodell, director of the Office of Security at the White House, told a congressional committee today that he was aware of no internal investigation or report into the leak of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame.

The White House had first opposed Knodell testifying but after a threat of a subpoena from the committee yesterday he was allowed to appear today.

Knodell said that he had started at the White House in August 2004, a year after the leak, but his records show no evidence of a probe or report there: "I have no knowledge of any investigation in my office," he said.

Rep. Waxman recalled that President Bush had promised a full internal probe. Knodell repeated that no probe took place, as far as he knew, and was not happening today.

Four years since the Plame outing. Two years since the outing was tied to Rove. The chief aide of the Vice President was charged, indicted, and convicted for lying to the press on the nature of the leak.

And nothing happened within the White House.

The gloves are off. The mask has been cast aside. The Bush Administration has formally crossed the line from sheer incompetence colored by corruption into blatant, criminal apathy. Let's show them exactly the respect they deserve.

I don't think I could see anything flounder and flop around so much like John McCain on a campaign stop without going fly fishing. Emphasis mine:

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush’s policy, which is just abstinence?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “Ahhh. I think I support the president’s policy.”

Q: “So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.”

Q: “I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?”

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.”

Good fucking night. Either McCain is so scared about losing the support of the religious right that he's willing to play dumb as to whether condoms stop the spread of AIDS (the answer: yes), or he's taken a long swig of the Kool-Aid.

And those answers. Apparently, McCain has no opinions of his own. And if he does have answers, then he just doesn't think about them a lot. Maybe I'm just one of those young radical angry liberals who has to have an opinion on everything, but if someone asked me what I think about contraceptives and their relative effectivness in preventing the spread of STDs, I can tell you I'd have an answer that was a bit more susbstantial than a blank face and a quick flip through my mental Rolodex.

If McCain's so blatantly willing to neglect having any positions of his own, then why doesn't his campaign just set up some call-in line where we can vote for his positions? It'll be a lot more entertaining than American Idol.

Bill O'Reilly now:

These people use techniques perfected by Dr. Joseph Goebbels, the Nazi minister of information. They lie, distort, defame, all the time. So it’s not surprising that MoveOn objected to a debate sponsored by Fox News and the Nevada Democratic Party.

Bill O'Reilly then:

Everybody got it? Dissent, fine; undermining, you're a traitor. Got it? So, all those clowns over at the liberal radio network, we could incarcerate them immediately. Will you have that done, please? Send over the FBI and just put them in chains, because they, you know, they're undermining everything and they don't care, couldn't care less.

Apparently, it's only fascism when liberals do it.

You want to see how much respect a nation's troops get? See how they get treated after it's revealed that their primary outpatient care provider has been treating them like garbage for years.

Case in point: after George Weightman was relieved of his duty, Kevin Kiley was picked to fill his position-- the same Kevin Kiley who did nothing after a Congressman's wife told him about seeing an injured soldier lying in his own urine. Once the people in charge of this bullshit realized what a hideous mistake they'd made, they kicked Kiley out and brought in Gale Pollock.

So, will someone finally take responsibility for the disgusting conditions our troops were forced to endure? Oh, don't tell me you honestly believe that's how Washington works nowadays!

"I know everyone is extremely pained and angry about the media assaults on Walter Reed and our senior leaders," Pollock wrote in an e-mail obtained by The Washington Post. She added that she "articulated our displeasure at the misinformation about the quality of care" to a Post reporter after a congressional hearing last week but also acknowledged that she believes the stories could create momentum for changes that would better serve the Army.

She also wrote: "I know that your families and loved ones are affected by this event as well -- please reassure them that the media makes money on negative stories not by articulating the positive in life -- though that is something I will never understand."

"It's not our fault, we swear! It's the nasty, evil media! They only focus on the mold-ridden buildings, the sprawling disorganized grounds meant for crippled soldiers, and servicemen lying in their own urine! They don't care about... uh... our fully-stocked hospital shop! Isn't that a good thing?"

It seems like nothing in Washington is anyone's own fault anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if someone went on a killing spree in DC tomorrow and then attacked the media for focusing so much on his bloody crimes. Will no one in power grow a pair and admit that our government fucked up?

Hey, Newt Gingrich had extramarital relations! No, not those. And no, not those. Yeah... those ones.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.

But don't worry, says Newt. He was putting himself at intense personal risk to strike a blow for hypocrisy-- I mean, righteousness.

"The president of the United States got in trouble for committing a felony in front of a sitting federal judge," the former Georgia congressman said of Clinton's 1998 House impeachment on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. "I drew a line in my mind that said, 'Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept ... perjury in your highest officials."

I can understand Newt's position, of course, especially after I've been beating the Libby drum for the past week. Still. You'd think you would learn that someone who repeatedly does things that undermine the sanctity of the family would not be the person to stand up and speak for "family values."

I'm going to be open with something, once again: I am a roleplaying geek. I got into the hobby right out of high school, and saw it as a great way to exercise my imagination while furthering social interaction. Of course, I also knew that there was a certain stigma associated with the hobby. On the more mocking side, you had the idea of socially-retarded miscreants in parents' basements, drinking down Mountain Dew and pretending to be elves. On the more hysterical side, you had... well, Mazes and Monsters.

And I really can't decide which side of the barrier this one comes down on:

In his defence, Boyd claimed that due to pressures that he was suffering in his work and marriage and his indulgence in a role-playing game called "Shadow Run", he thought he may have been playing the part of criminal elf Buho when he threatened the lone female shop owner at knifepoint after asking for a discount.

And an explanation of Shadowrun, for those who think it's a game of panty-snatching elves.

The most hilarious part of this is that Shadowrun is probably the fourth roleplaying game ever to get full-on media coverage like this, and it's for stolen panties. At least D&D, Vampire: the Masquerade, and Kult all had murder and suicide associated with them.

All I know is, I now have yet another malfeasance to defend my beloved hobby against. Hooray.

So, yeah. Libby. I see I'm finally getting around to that.

Yup, Scooter Libby's been found guilty on four of five counts, including perjury and obstruction of justice. What was interesting yesterday was watching the jurors come out. The one chosen to speak said that the jury was sad that they had to hand down the judgment to Libby, when they could be sending Rove to the big house for organizing this abortion of justice (those probably weren't their words).

To be honest, I agree with him. This goes far, far higher than Libby, and it's increasingly obvious to all involved that Fitzgerald just went after who he could. Of course, perjury is still a crime (no matter how much some pundits try to equivocate on the matter), but it's nothing compared to what Libby's puppet masters did. But it looks like Fitzgerald isn't going to take this to its logical conclusion, due to promises made when it first began, so I guess we'll just have to settle for the fact that it has been shown that there's something most rotten in the District of Columbia.

Oh, and in case you needed any more evidence that FOX News is Pravdatastic, here you go.

I was a bit busy yesterday, so I wasn't able to get around to talking about Libby. And I will later. Trust me. But right now, I'd like to wear a hat I haven't worn for a few months: that of the angry comics blogger.

If you've been paying any attention at all to the comics industry, you'll know that Marvel has been running an event for the past few months called Civil War. The entire event was written by Mark Millar, who is the last person I expect to handle things in a sensitive fashion. It started out like this: when a group of young superheroes attacked a group of D-level villains, one of them exhibited powers on a level none of them had ever experienced before and ended up killing most of the supergroup... as well as 600 suburbanites, including a good number of children. Outrage grips the country, and the federal government insists on having superheroes register their identities so that they can be held responsible. Tony Stark, Iron Man, is in favor of registration, supposedly because he wants things to go smoothly with the government, and he believes superheroes could use training from an "official" source. Captain America is against the registration, afraid that it will lead to a gigantic loss of civil liberties for everyone. But as the story starts, they seem to be on equal footing, and both sides seem to have good points.

Then things get really fucking weird. SHIELD, the Marvel Universe's extranational police force/spy agency, starts forming "capekiller" forces to track down and violently subdue unregistered heroes, driving Captain America and members of his side underground. Iron Man and Reed Richards (a.k.a. Mr. Fantastic, one of the Fantastic Four) introduce an extradimensional Guantanamo Bay for unregistered heroes that, depending on the book you read, is either a) a gilded cage, or b) a hellhole where the only escape is suicide. Iron Man clones Thor in an attempt to give the pro-registration side legitimacy, which horribly backfires when the cloned Thor kills Black Goliath (to add insult to injury, Black Goliath is then buried in a tarp and chains, because no one-- including the scientist who came up with particles that could shrink matter, who is pro-registration-- could think of something more dignified). The federal government picks out a group of known supervillains-- some of them notoriously psychopathic, like the Green Goblin, Venom, and Bullseye-- and starts training them as the Thunderbolts, a new superhero team. So, obviously, the pro-registration side is starting to look like a merry bunch of fascists. All the while, however, Millar is making heads explode by insisting that he would support Tony Stark, as would people in the real world.

Then comes Civil War #7, the final issue. The anti-registration forces have managed to break all the heroes out of the extradimensional prison, and are fighting the pro-registration heroes in the streets of Manhattan. That's when Captain America starts to notice the collateral damage--

--and gives up, throwing his mask to the ground and ordering his side to surrender.

That's right. The man who fought Hitler gives up because a few buildings get damaged. But it's conceivable. After all, he can always fight another day, on a ground where people are less likely to get hurt.

Then comes Civil War: Frontline #11. In this sidebook, two journalists have been researching Tony Stark's involvement in the fight, and found out that he managed to nudge the Atlanteans into military action against America, so that there might be a reason for government-trained heroes. Then, after the battle in New York, those two journalists track down Captain America, and... you know what? Fuck it. I can't even describe it, it's so mind-rapingly stupid. Go and read it yourself. Go on. I'll wait.

...you're back, aren't you? You just read the part where the reporter calls Captain America, the man who fought Hitler, the man who has always served America, its constitution, and its interests, obsolete and useless. Why? Because we're focused too much on pop culture effluvia to give two fucks about the state of our nation!

Oh, and those two journalists? They then visit Tony Stark and tell him what they know. And then they tell him that they're going to sit on the story. Why? Well, because Tony did the right thing, and the ends justify the means.

If you can't understand why I'm so angry, let me explain: I have always viewed comics as an escape. As a window into a world where the good triumph, and the evil fall. Where ideals are more than ideals, but embodiments. Where Captain America really represents America, even when America is twisted and perverted by those in power. In an age where the US government is systematically trying to redefine torture, of all things, I turn to comics for a better world.

And here I am, being told by Millar and Marvel editor-in-chief Joe Quesada, that this is a better world. Heroes have been imprisoned, former heroes have turned into Machiavellian villains, psychotic villains are being held up as heroes, Captain America is being called pointless to "our modern world" (gee, sound familiar?), and this is a good thing.

And now, the final insult. Today, the newest round of comics go out. And in his own book, Captain America meets his end. And here's what Joe Quesada has to say about it:

"He hasn't been living in the modern world and the world does move," says Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada.

Quesada said he wanted to readers find their own meaning in Cap's end.

I could visually depict what meaning Quesada is trying to get across, but Blogger doesn't like it when I link to Goatse. So, let me give you a verbal equivalent:

"America, the idealized version, is dead. Screw the land of liberty. Screw the stand for what is right. Now, you just do whatever you can for safety, even if it means fucking the other guy over. After all, it's what the people in power believe, and when have they ever been wrong?"

So, in summary, fuck you, Quesada. Fuck you, Millar. Fuck you, Paul Jenkins, who wrote that long steaming coil of dialogue in Frontline. Fuck everyone who played a willing part in this abortion to make a heroic world downright villainous. One day, sanity will return, and maybe then, I'll return to the House of Ideas. Until then, I'll just be reading the titles that don't crap on my idealism, and remembering the words of Squirrel Girl:

"I remember the day when comic book worlds were places you wanted to escape to. Not from."

So, we are now somewhere over 72 hours after Ann Coulter's "faggot" fallout, and once again, it seems like the people in power fail to see why we're so pissed off that she said "faggot."

A group of conservative bloggers are drafting a resolution against the fact that Ann uses such nasty terms. That's good. However, they focus solely on the fact that such negative terms draw harsh attention to their own causes, and seem to ignore the fact that casually referring to an entire group of people by the most prejudice-charged term you can use has negative repercussions.

It's not as if the Dems are blameless, either. While they seem to focus more on how Ann's phrasing is bigoted at its core, they quickly turn it into an attack on their personal character... or an opportunity for cash. Read Pam's dissection of the bluster from various sources. As much as I'm glad that these groups are paying lip service to the idea that "faggot" is so disgusting a term, they sure as hell aren't taking the opportunity to raise awareness of gay folks.

And as for Ann herself... well, here's her bullshit:

he word I used has nothing to do with sexual preference. It is a schoolyard taunt.

[...]

It isn't offensive to gays. It has nothing to do with gays.

There it is, folks! Ann Coulter apparently speaks for all gay men! My God, the tranny jokes just scream for release!

So, apparently "faggot" is just a schoolyard taunt that has nothing to do with us gays. Then what the hell were you calling John Edwards, Ann? Were you calling him a pantywaist? Were you calling him a wuss? Were you calling with a spineless snot? Then why didn't you use those terms, instead of a term that actual gay men consider to be on par with the N-word?

So, once again, the tale of sound and fury weaves itself, and nothing is signified. Well, people may finally be starting to back away from the radioactive pile of crazy that is Ann Coulter, but otherwise, nothing changes for us "faggots."

Well, it's time for the Conservative Political Action Committee again! I'm sure you remember how last year, Ann Coulter used the worst insult one can use to describe Arab-Americans-- a turn of phrase some, as in, those with consciences, might call "bigoted"-- and she got a standing ovation. So, what tricks and tainted treats does she have up her sleeve this time?

How about calling John Edwards a "faggot"? Yeah, that'll do. And, once again, she gets a wild round of applause from the audience, and a conservative figure within mud-flinging distance of her, who in a sane society should be doing everything to distance himself from her garbage, just rides the wave.*

Once more, I long for someone with an actual pair of journalistic cojones to have her on and just let the hell loose. But this will likely happen around the time that Oded Fehr comes to work as my live-in personal trainer. Ah, well. At least I have my hope.

*By the way, Mitt? I don't think I can say this any more clearly, but fuck you, you morally-bankrupt, switch-hitting pile of political feces. Thank you.

This, if I am to believe correctly, is a chart of the incidence of "the seven dirty words" on the top eighteen progressive blogs. Such a Herculean effort has been undertaken by conservative blogger Gateway Pundit, apparently to prove that those liberal blogs are so vulgar and crude.

This is supposed to prove something? That we swear and we're angry? Fuck yes, we swear and we're angry. It means that we're human. It means that we're human, and we are upset at the state of the world.

Instaputz, who recaps this exercise in missing the point by parsecs, provides, as "counterpoint", the examples of several kind, courteous, professional conservative bloggers-- you know, the kinds who get glowing write-ups in The Washington Post (and seriously, Howard Kurtz, what the fuck?)-- calling for the death and imprisonment of political opponents and civilians. Apparently, they get off scot-free, but since we use naughty language, we must be shunned like lepers.

So, Mr. Gateway Pundit, allow me to deliver my rejoinder, with Eric Cartman speaking for me and, I'm sure, the rest of the lefty blogosphere:



(Yes, I know that's Dragon Ball Z. Yes, I know it sucks. There's only so much I can do with YouTube, people.)